Spring break is just over the horizon, and Cowboys are gearing up for a week full of beer bongs, one-night-stands, and raging face. Cowboys tend to get silly away from Stilly, so we’ve decided to list a few of the many inebriated pokes you’ll find at Padre Island this spring break.
Fanny Pack Chick:
Everywhere you look, there’s some girl holding up a half-empty bottle of Malibu, wearing a fanny pack full of pocket shots and an iPhone, while screaming “Go Pokes!” at the top of her lungs.
Each party has its own Plastered Pete. He’s the dude always wearing an orange cowboy hat, boots, and (hopefully dry) briefs. Catch him passed out with Sharpie dicks all over his face.
The easiest to spot of anyone of this list, they’re jacked, at least a head taller than everyone else, not to mention, bench pressing some girl with a tramp-stamp—the watermark of the promiscuous. They may be at the beach, but good luck catching them not wearing a piece of OSU Nike gear.
There will be more boobs out at spring break than there are at Mardi Gras, and these don’t cost you beads (although they’re appreciated). All you’ve got to do is yell, “Go Pokes,” to instantly see who’s either had enough to drink, or doesn’t make good life decisions.
A midnight moon-lit beach is a magical time and place for groups of Cowgirls and boys, alike, to shed their clothing and dash across the beach, baring all. Join in on the fun run and become a Streaker, yourself, or simply enjoy the view if that’s how you get your rocks off.
An OSU Flag:
Its initial purpose might’ve been a marker to attract other Pokes, but it’ll end up as a cape for the dad-bod-ed dude in Oakleys and a bandana.
Random Old Couple:
Always remember what is important during spring break: You’re only young once, don’t mix your alcohols, and OU still sucks.
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