April Fools Day is on the horizon, and what better way to dive into the weekend than with a few foolish, inaccurate statements about the University of Mississippi. Without further ado:
5.) “Ole Miss isn’t a party school.”:
No matter how much you try and tell your family and friends back home that school is rigorous and all-business, you’re lying not only to them, but to yourself. Sure, you might have to stay in some nights during the week, but there isn’t a single day at Ole Miss where you wouldn’t be able to find a party if you tried. Go to any student apartment complex, the Square, or Fraternity Row, and you’ll find the party guaranteed, 24/7.
4.) “EDHE is a real class.”:
Freshman year is hands down the easiest year at Ole Miss. The utter lack of responsibility, combined with the fact that everyone is away from home for the first time, provides for a ridiculous experience. And nothing screams freshman year more than the intro course known as EDHE 105. This is basically an extended freshman orientation, and if used correctly, is a glorified joke resulting in 3 credits. Unfortunately, freshmen are freshmen, and this course ends in failure far more than it should.
3.) “Lamar is a beautiful facility.”:
Everyone talks about how gorgeous our campus is, and with good reason. This place is goddamn beautiful, and it’s nearly impossible to visit here and want to attend anywhere else. However, the true black sheep of the Ole Miss campus has to be Lamar Hall. This massive, dull structure takes us all back to a horrible time for architecture, and makes every other building on the Grove look like The White House. You haven’t truly felt the grind of the school year take over until you’ve made the dreary trek on an overcast day to your 8 a.m. in Lamar.
2.) “I’m too classy to shop at Walmart.”:
Here’s the deal: it doesn’t matter where you come from, how rich your mommy and daddy are, or that you shop at Target when you’re home. If you go to Ole Miss, a trip to Walmart at the end of West Jackson Avenue is a special fucking treat. The place is a mecca for students to get their shit together while living through some of the most regrettable, grimiest stages of their lives. You need swiffer pads to clean your absolutely disgusting floor? Walmart’s got it. Need fresh fruit because you’re suffering from vitamin deficiencies? Grab some while you’re there. How about speakers that will keep your neighbor up for days? Check. Walmart is awesome.
1.) “I’m sick of Oxford, I need to go home.”:
We all have points during a semester where this sentence is uttered. The lifestyle of this place is intoxicating in every sense of the word, but eventually it tires you the fuck out. But when you take a step back and really think about it, you can’t get sick of this place. After a week at home, you’re itching to get back, and regret ever speaking these words. The idea of summer vacation, multiple months away from this cesspool of drunken collegiate debauchery, sends shivers up the spine of our student body. Nobody truly wants out of Oxvegas.
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