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5 Things Your Ole Miss Tour Guide Conveniently Failed to Mention

Every week, dozens of prospective students and their families arrive in Oxford for an Ole Miss campus tour. Consistently ranked as one of the most beautiful campuses in the country, this place is an easy for tour guides to sell as the best university to spend four years at. However, there are a few things they conveniently “forgot” to mention while you were moseying around:

5.) The Turner Center is ass:
Ole Miss has over 20,000 students and some of the most incredible athletic facilities of any major university. You would think that maybe they would let the students in on some of these bougie, Manning-funded buildings, but instead they gave us the Turner Center. Essentially it’s a piece of shit disguised as an overcrowded gym with negative resources. If you’re a roided-out fitness freak, don’t come to Ole Miss.

4.) Pavilion hours are weird asf:
So they’ll tell you that we just got a Raising Cane’s and a Steak ‘n Shake; two restaurants that most schools could only dream of having. What they won’t tell you is that there are very limited opportunities to enjoy these fine dining establishments. Both places are closed on the weekends, and on Fridays they close at 2 p.m. Basically, you can get Canes or Steak ‘n Shake in the middle of the day Monday through Thursday, right when the lines are at their peak, which is annoying as hell.

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3.) The parking situation is not ideal:
This might be something you pick up on just by showing up to the tour in your mom’s car. Ole Miss quite possibly has the worst parking options of any university in the entire country. To get to class on time, especially if you live off campus, you might want to allow for half an hour of driving around playing musical parking spots. It’d be great if we could knock the Tad Pad down and build another garage, but logic doesn’t often reign supreme around here.

2.) Ole Miss is a “smoke free campus”:
If you’re walking through the famed cig alley next to the library while on your tour, it might appear that the university promotes tobacco use just based on the sheer amount of chain smokers slumped over the metal tables. That being said, if an officer were to approach you, they’d hand you a hefty fine. It’s truly difficult to comprehend the fact that in a town full of cigarette fiends, the school takes such an unreasonable stance.

1.) J.D. Williams Library is definitely not up to par:
They say Ole Miss is a party school, and rightfully so. They also say they want to rid themselves of this image, but that’s a pretty hypocritical statement when the library isn’t even open 24 hours a day. How are students supposed to pull off Adderall-fueled all nighters when there’s no productive place to cram? Not to mention the fact that there’s one outlet for every 15 students, a noticeable lack of seating, and srat girls bitching at high volumes. We need another library, a new library, or somewhere to actually focus on school.

So before you tour Ole Miss, remember these things (cause no one else is going to tell you). If you don’t you may think you’re cut out for this school, when in reality there’s a whole list of atrocities you have no idea about.

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