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6 Things that Take Less Time than the Wait in the Ole Miss Union Lunch Lines

If you’ve ever been to the union between 12:15 to 1:30 p.m., expect nothing but pure madness. Don’t plan on getting your food if you have a class anytime soon, and don’t expect it to be good either. Not to worry thought, there are plenty of other things you can do instead, that will for sure take a lot less time. Here’s a few examples:

6.) Training for, and running a full fucking marathon:
Yes, you read that right. Why wait in a Union lunch line when you can accomplish this extravagant act in the same amount, or less, time? Save yourself the Chick-fil-A calories and burn many more by putting in some work. Your chubby college bod will praise you for it.

5.) Successfully completing an appointment at the DMV:
If you’re a normal human being this is your worst nightmare, but so is the Ole Miss Student Union during lunch hours. Okay maybe there isn’t food at the end of a DMV wait, but at least you’ll get a quality interaction with one of their always exceptionally kind, and efficient employees.

4.) Attending a seemingly endless science lab:
Most of you idiots are in these labs because you’re required to be, which makes fucking around with test tubes seem like forever. But, not quite as long as the wait to make your burrito at Qdoba. So next time you’re examining rocks in geology, just remind yourself it could be a whole lot worse.

3.) Finding a parking spot in commuter:
Ah, an off-campus student’s greatest challenge. Unless you’re willing to suck it up and walk an extra twenty minutes, odds are it takes a long ass time to find a semi-decent spot. But there are things that take longer, much, much longer. But you can probably guess what by now.

2.) Waiting for a text back after you send a lengthy paragraph:
There are feelings people have that inevitably make time go by slower. Two of these include anxiety and hunger. Whether this text was to your mom, your ex, your mom’s ex, the wait is gonna feel long. But, you can probably agree being hangry is a much worse situation to be in so why the fuck are you still waiting in line?

1.) The wait for Safe Ride:
On your Ole Miss tour you were probably told these busses run every fifteen minutes every night, and you now know they lied to your innocent high school faces. The wait may be hours, and it may never come. You’re not guaranteed a bus, just like you’re not guaranteed to make it before Panda Express runs out of orange chicken. You live a life of dangerous risk.

Hopefully by now you’ve realized these lines are fucking long, but hey. At least you have enough time to email your professor a lengthy excuse as to why you won’t be to class on time, or turning in your paper.

 

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