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6 Thoughts Freshman Girls Have About Their First Spring Party

Ole Miss spring parties are really unlike anything else. Think of every other college darty, and then think uhhhh, weirder. If it’s your first time you’re gonna have some thoughts, comments, and many concerns. Here’s some a naïve freshman girl might encounter:

6.) “Why is this dude in a banana suit hitting on me?”:
You all know these frat stars are headed straight for the freshman girls (or any blonde girl in metallic shorts). The problem with spring parties is people get hammered and forget they’re dressed like complete idiots. Most girls avoid the ridiculous costumes because they can’t tell if they’re hot or not. But hey, some girls might dig it.

5.) “Where the hell is the beer?”:
You would think finding alcohol at a fraternity party would be more than simple. At Ole Miss, it can be a process. If you’re at the field you have to fight your way to a tub of Natty Light, which is honestly quite difficult. At the houses, you just never really know because sometimes they’re hiding in random-ass bedrooms. The good news is, people always manage to find them.

4.) “How do I eat this crawfish?”:
The University of Mississippi is home to many out-of-state students who have never actually seen a crawfish. For most, spring parties are their first exposure to the little sea critters. In a sober state, these out-of-state girls would probably run away from the crawfish; but they’re drunk, which means almost anything is appetizing. They just need to figure out how the fuck to get the meat out.

3.) “Where did my friends go?”:
Although Ole Miss students talk about these spring parties like they’re out of body experiences, at the end of the day they’re just darties. And any decently fun college darty is going to be mayhem. Freshman girls, you’ll probably lose your friends, maybe drunk cry about it, then eventually find them. No worries. If you’re drunk enough you may not even notice they’re gone.

2.) “Has anyone seen my princess crown?”:
It’s fun to wear ridiculous shit. Including but not limited to: cowboy hats, unicorn head bands, veils, and crowns. This is all fun and games but know that there’s a high chance you’ll lose whatever the fuck you wear on your head. This correlates directly with your intoxication level, who would have thought? So, girls, don’t spend too much on your crowns.

1.) “Who the hell is on the stage right now?”:
Each fraternity has some kind of musical guest, whether they’re well known or completely random. Usually, it’s someone who had one hit song, but no one actually knows who they are. Do some quick Googling beforehand so you can at least pretend to know some of the words. If you don’t, you’ll probably be decently confused (or just not care).

Moral of the story is; shit gets weird. Ladies, it might be alarming at first, but you’ll get used to it. Before you know it, you’ll be the one wearing a banana suit hitting on freshman boys.

 

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