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If Ole Miss Sororities Were Horror Movie Stereotypes

It’s a fact of life; horror movies and sororities would be nothing without their stereotypes. Tropes are a crucial part of the social fabric; they help us find our place in the pecking order (or in the case of horror movies the “picked off” order). The Black Sheep has mad respect for all our Ole Miss sororities, but not everyone makes it to the end of the movie…

Which horror stereotype is your favorite sorority? And how long can they survive a horror movie?

Kappa Alpha Theta: The one black dude that is always the first to go…
Someone explain to us what everyone’s issue is with Theta? Theta gets a lot of hate on campus and usually finds themselves as the butts of every joke. We, personally, have never met a Theta we didn’t like. Nevertheless, just like the token black guy in every horror movie, there’s really no reason for the killer to off them first but to cut them any slack would be a break in tradition. Sorry Theta, you’re our first victim.

Phi Mu: The gorgeous, popular one…
Every horror movie has one; the beautiful blonde who makes out with one guy too many and often gets a featured shower scene, only to find herself on the business end of the killer’s blade. Phi Mu, you’re gorgeous. Too gorgeous. So gorgeous that we can’t take it anymore and the killer claims you as it’s next victim.

Kappa Kappa Gamma: The jock bro who takes a machete to the face…
Kappa girls just wanna have fun. Your reputation as the fun, wild sorority precedes you and you have no regrets. Just like the jock bro of your favorite horror movie, you can party with the best of them and you’re not going down without a one liner. But all that partying comes at a price and once the killer gets their hands on you, you’re getting the most gruesome death in the movie.

Chi Omega: The one who gets stuck in the cat door, trying to escape…
Oh, Chi O, you mean well. You’re sweet; we didn’t want it to go down this way. You could have made it to the end, you really could have, but you made some mistakes. Chi O tried to slip under the killer’s radar by running out to the garage. Chi O had only had Freshii at lunch, so they really thought they were going to fit through the cat door. But the killer did notice and dragged Chi O back into the darkness. You’re done for.

Pi Beta Phi: The one who runs upstairs instead of out the front door…
All you Texas girls in Pi Phi should have known better. You saw the killer go into the garage after Chi O and thought it’d be best to run upstairs. But your clunky boots betrayed you and now you’re running for your life. The worst part? The killer isn’t even the one to do you in. They chase you all around the second floor and you take your chances and throw yourself out the window to escape. It didn’t end well. RIP Pi Phi.

Kappa Delta: The bumbling cop…
KD is often heralded as the classy sorority. You guys are the responsible ones; it’s only natural you’d fall into the role of the warm-hearted, well-meaning cop. But, with sororities dropping like flies and a killer still on the loose it’s going to take every ounce of your limited training to bring the killer down. You try to radio in for help, but the killer is waiting in the backseat and, by the time they’re done, all that remains of Kappa Delta is a bloodstain on the windshield.

Delta Delta Delta: The one who hides in the closet…
Tri Delt saw the writing on the wall when that one weirdo wouldn’t take off their mask at the party and took the chance to hide. They didn’t run out to help when they heard the screaming downstairs and stayed hidden in the closet. But now, the house is quiet and Tri Delt is pretty sure that no one is coming to help. They hear the killer’s footsteps. Tri Delt tries to stay quiet and listens as the killer walks away. They think they are safe… suddenly it’s lights out when the killer stabs them through the back wall.

Alpha Delta Pi: The nerdy one…
No, we’re not talking about your GPA (sorry ADPi). ADPi, as one of the newer sororities, has had to be resourceful in making a name for themselves, much like our favorite horror movie underdog. When the killing spree began, ADPi started to devise a plan. They set a trap to catch the killer and it almost worked. But they weren’t watching to see what was sneaking up behind them…

Alpha Omicron Pi: The stoner dude…
Like the average horror movie stoner, you’re laid back and likable. You’re unexceptional, but you make it work and no one is out to get you. Maybe the killer took pity on you, maybe they didn’t see you as a threat; regardless, you’ve made it this far. You did your best to help ADPi pull off their plan, but ended up getting caught in the crossfire. You died an unsung hero, AOII.

Delta Gamma: The brainy, virgin that survives…
Congratulations, DG! You survived the Sorority Row Massacre! The fact that you’re a likeable group that often has one of the highest GPAs on campus has paid off and you were able to outsmart the killer. Sure, all your friends died, but at least you’ll be in the sequel.

Alpha Phi: THE KILLER!
The mysterious Alpha Phi. New on campus. A wanderer. No one knows what lurks within. You managed to slip away from the carnage before anyone could catch you. But you’ll be back next year…

 

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