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You’re Not a True Duck Unless You Do These 5 Things Before Graduation


Graduation is quickly approaching for students at the University of Oregon, and time is running out to blame all the stupid and reckless shit you do on the fact that you’re in college. So while your reputation as shotgun king or queen is still protected by the invisible societal barrier of college culture, here are five reckless things to do on campus before it’s graduation day and you’re peacing the fuck out of Eugene.

5.) Jump in the Jaqua Water:

You’re lying if you say you’ve never thought about testing out the waters of the Jaqua building’s water landscape. Go ahead, slip off your socks and wade around that fountain. If you’re a real cool kid you’ll lie down in the shallow water in the hopes of soaking up some of that athlete privilege that flows through the building.

4.) Shotgun a Beer in Knight Lib:

Depending on how rebellious you’re feeling, you can either reserve a study room and have a little bit of privacy while shotgunning, or you could be a real #badass and do it in one of the rows of books. There’s definitely a higher risk of getting caught in doing the latter, but doesn’t the thrill lie in knowing you could get caught amidst all of that knowledge?

3.) Streak Through the Quad:

After you’ve shotgunned a beer in the lib and have a little bit of liquid courage in you, you can step outside the library and immediately strip down to your birthday suit. Start running like the wind through the Quad just like you’re one of the many carefree Eugene hippies. We go to a liberal school, so it only makes sense to liberate yourself before leaving for good!

2.) Climb on a Roof:

Over at the Lokey Education area, there is a pull-down ladder at the end of the gazebo towards the Hedco building. It’s easy to access, and once you pull it down you can climb up onto the roof and enjoy a night of stargazing if the weather permits. DISCLAIMER: There are alarms on every roof so, mission impossible the shit out of this excursion.

1.) Have Sex in Pacific:

If you’re really out there and are looking for a legit adrenaline rush, have sex on campus in a building that’s not a dorm. Classroom, bathroom, supply closet, an office, or wherever you’re willing to try. Just grab an adventure partner who is DTF and get busy! An anonymous student recommends the bathrooms in the basement of Pacific for optimal seclusion.

There’s a little over a month left in the academic year, and the opportunities for creating ~unique~ college memories are almost gone. So grab your adventurous friends and commemorate your stupidity. 

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