7 Places on UO’s Campus to Have a Mental Breakdown

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As the end of the term approaches and the final grade calculator says you’re going to need over 150% percent on the final to get an A in the class, a breakdown is almost inevitable. But who has time to cry in the comfort of their own home when you have a final in half an hour? Here are eight places you can freak out right here on campus.  

7.) Bean Hall Laundry Room:

Ten plus dryers and a couple of old couches creates a warm environment and rhythmic sounds perfect to have a nice cry to. Feel free to scream at any freshmen that sees you mid breakdown because you know damn well that they will be doing the same thing once they get past those 100 level courses.

6.) Bottom Floor of Oregon Hall:

Student billing has moved off campus, leaving the bottom level of Oregon hall completely empty. Build a massive fort in one of the abandoned cubicles and curse at yourself for spending your Thanksgiving break drowning yourself in mash potatoes and gravy instead of studying. But hey, Cs gets degrees, right?

5.) A Treadmill at the Rec.:

There’s no better time to have a breakdown then halfway through a workout. You’ll be so sweaty the tears will just blend in. With everyone wearing earphones, they won’t hear your sobs as you desperately do squats to train for your new career as a stripper. Better yet, go to the weight room and start lifting. Your screams of misery will just seem like the cheers of triumph from a really intense workout.

4.) Private room at the EMU:

If your serious about your breakdowns, then a private room at the EMU is perfect. If you reserve it in advance you can get at least an hour of uninterrupted misery. A private room is especially good for people who need extra space to flail around when in the throws of emotional turmoil. Once you finish you can go downstairs and pick from the wide array of comfort foods offered to eat the stress away.

3.) The First Floor All Gender Bathroom in the Volcanology Building:

Conveniently located in the middle of campus, this place is always deserted. The bathroom is a single with a huge lock and two windows that open for air, which also creates great lighting for your post- breakdown selfies. After your meltdown, you can walk around the building to look at all the maps of volcanoes where you can then contemplate throwing yourself into one.

2.) The Pioneer Cemetery:

If Eugene wasn’t weird enough, there’s a random and rather large cemetery on campus. Vast, scary and always vacant, the cemetery is a great place to have a breakdown if you don’t mind a little chill or the feeling of someone creeping behind you. Being surrounded by gravestones is also great because nothing is more comforting after failing a final than the fact that we’re all going to die anyway.

1.) Literally Anywhere:.

You’re not the first to be stressed over finals and you’re definitely not the only ugly crier on campus. Own that panic attack and have no shame in your mental breakdown game. Just remember if you think you did really poorly this term, there’s always next term. However, if you’ve been saying that for the past four years, Dominos on Franklin is hiring!  

Tis the season for crying and curling up in a ball, just make sure you’re doing it in one of best places possible.

Yeah, we all have D.A.D.S., just maybe not the kind you were thinking of: