7 Things UO Students Need to STOP Doing in 2017

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We can all agree, 2016 was uh…rough. Loads of dead icons, a torturous election, and getting stuck with one too many bad habits are leaving us with a sour taste to start 2017. The UO student body is going to need to make some changes if we want to make it out alive. Here are seven things we as UO students need to stop doing to start 2017 off right.

6.) Standing on the Bus:                              

First thing’s first, we gotta stop standing on the EMX bus when there are plenty of spots to rest your rear. It’s okay to sit next to the locals of Eugene, they kind of smell but they don’t bite. It also seems all EMX drivers are on a personal mission to make our bus rides feel like they’re straight out of a Fast and Furious movie when they’re whipping around campus corners. You’ll save yourself a lot of bruising if you just sit your ass down.

5.) Umbrella Shaming:            

Let’s be honest, all this umbrella hating is pretty ~weird~. Why does the population of one of the rainiest states refuse to use umbrellas? No one really knows, but unless showing up to class like you just walked out of the shower is some sort of fashion choice, it doesn’t make much sense. So let’s make things easier for out-of-state students and start at least welcoming umbrellas more.

4.) Only Studying at the Knight Library:        

EMU is open 24 hours for a reason, but there’s also another library on campus besides Knight. If we all started to be more adventurous with our study behaviors, it might shut up some of the students complaining about the new hours. A less crowded library AND less bitchy students? Two birds with one stone, good friends.

3.) Searching for a Someone to Sub-lease Your Apartment on Facebook:            

Sorry Sarah, but no one wants to take over your spot in a four bedroom at The Hub, no matter how “wild” your gal pal roommates’ board game Mondays and wine Wednesdays are. Instead of posting on Facebook, there’s this beautiful site called Craigslist where you might find better luck than on our class pages.

2.) Buying All Your Textbooks:          

As winter term approaches, it’s time to make another heart (and wallet) breaking trip to the Duck Store. But this isn’t amateur hour and anyone who’s been in college for more than a term knows that most classes don’t use the textbook they assign, so why bother? It’s not like they even buy these books back, there’s always too many claims of “water damage” to your precious chem book. Listen Book Lady, it’s hard not to get a little damp when literally everything in Oregon is soaking wet.

1.) Crying About the 2016 Football Season:            

We all watched and grieved together, and shared drunken tears stumbling back from Autzen Stadium this past football season. But as the UO football legacy copes with the biggest L it has seen in years, the way is paved for our transition to become a basketball school. So let’s stop moping about football and actually start going to basketball games.                                                        

Finally, 2016 is nearing its end and this past year has somehow felt like an episode of Black Mirror. However, 2017 is going to be the year we finally get it together and stop making people feel bad for wanting to carry umbrellas.