We’re not talking about your typical rage cage or beloved beer pong game, we’re talking about a game that will guarantee you’re so drunk that you find your favorite frat bros attractive enough to shack up in their nasty live-out. Requirements: rally up a fun group of friends and pick your booze wisely, just make sure you have enough, because you will be drinking A LOT. The rules are simple: drink whenever the following occurs:
7.) When a Mainstream Song Plays:
Last term it was “Closer” and “Black Beetles,” this term it’s “Bad and Boujee” and “OOOUUU.” Yes they are great songs, and yes they are perfect for getting everyone hyped the first hundred times they play, but it’s time to move on. The guy you have on aux isn’t a real DJ so get ballsy and feel free to play something original.
6.) When There’s a Broken Window:
Not sure what it is, but boys in live-outs just aren’t capable of keeping their windows intact. The blankets draped over the openings aren’t helping, nor are they fooling anyone. We can’t complain though, it’s the little breeze we need when the dance floor gets too hot and steamy.
5.) When There’s a Stolen Composite and/or Greek Letters Proudly Hung on the Wall:
We all secretly want to steal a composite no matter if you’re a part of Greek life or not, so it’s all good. Something about being a clepto sounds so inviting when you’re plastered on a Friday night. For most, there was probably a time when you walked into a party and saw a bunch of photos of people from 1976 and were like, “What the hell is this?”
4.) When a Really Drunk Girl is Dancing on an Elevated Surface:
Let’s admit it, it’s really fun and you wish you were her, but you got to the party too late and now there’s no room for you. Now no one will see how hard you go when your jam comes on. Think positively though, maybe she will slip on a puddle of Keystone and you can take her place.
3.) When Some Poor Boy Attempts to Get into a Party with a Group of Girls, but Fails Miserably:
“Sorry bro, it’s a liability issue. I don’t make the rules.” Is it really a party if you don’t see a guy surrounded by five girls try to sneak in? Well technically yes, but it just happens so often it seems like a necessity. Don’t worry there is always a next time.
2.) When Crushed Beer Cans have Fully Soaked the Floor:
It wouldn’t be a frat party without cheap beer and a filthy floor. Why are your shoes sticky? Beer. Why did you almost slip onto your ass? Beer. What’s that smell? Beer. Why does that normally very average looking person look like a model? Beer. Avoid it if you can.
1.) When You See Someone You Barely Know, but Are So Drunk You’re Over-Excited to See Them:
In your drunken state you will become abnormally happy to see that one girl, from your one class, whose name you don’t actually know, but for some reason always end up sitting next to. Right now you are basically best friends and are trying to figure out why you never go out together.
If you follow this list to the T, you’ll probably be highly intoxicated by the end of the night, which is the goal. Just remember the unfortunate beer goggles this game creates, and the mess and regret you’ll wake up to in the morning if you decide to stay over.