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5 Places to Live After Your Greedy Eugene Landlord Raises the Rent…Again


Eugene is notorious for its shitty and unpredictable rental companies, so it’s to be expected that eventually your greedy, cold-hearted landlord will jack up the pricing. Apparently providing shelter to poor college students isn’t enough for this bastard, he also wants another $100 a month on top of the rent and now you are being forced out onto the streets in search of a new home. Here are a few alternative-housing options to keep in mind while you search for your new home:

5.) Use the Rec. Showers and Live on Campus:

Why would you pay someone else for an apartment when you’re already paying UO a small fortune every year? Campus has everything you need. The EMU is open 24 hours a day so you can sleep there in that giant chair, and you can shower in the Rec. You may not have a ton of privacy but after being cooped up in a tiny apartment all year, you will come to appreciate how spacious your new accommodations are.

4.) Camp Outside of McKenzie:

When the EMU security guards wise up to your plan, you may have to look elsewhere for shelter. The next best thing is a good old-fashioned tent. UO students consider themselves to be pretty outdoorsy, so most of you will already have the necessary supplies. Got an 8 a.m. across campus at McKenzie? No problem, now you can wake up right outside the door and stroll into class well rested.

3.) Sleep on Any Student’s Lawn Past Mill:

Homeless people do it all year round, so why can’t you? Mill is far enough away from campus that the Eugene police shouldn’t be able to catch you trespassing. Oregon weather is shitty, but spring term promises warmth and some empty beer cans you can sell for money.

2.) Invoke Squatter’s Rights:

After the petty Eugene police have given you your last warning for living on or near campus, storm your apartment and take back what is rightfully yours. You may not be sure what “squatter’s rights” are, but you’ve heard one of the many homeless people in Eugene talk about it. You can now rest assured that you have secured a permanent living situation for the foreseeable future.

1.) Adjust to Your new Life in an Oregon Prison:

After the many consecutive run-ins with the law culminating in one final standoff, there is a good chance that you wind up in prison. You may have lost your beautiful Uncommon or Capri apartment, but now you’ve found a new home. And while prison may not be as nice as UO, it does still offer classes that you can take to further your education.

These are just a few things to keep in mind while you’re out trying to find that perfect place that will become your home for the next year.

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