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UO Daddy Of The Week: Parker

 

We’re trying something new here at The Black Sheep Oregon, it’s called Daddy of the Week. Our first daddy is the fun and vain Parker Belan. You may recognize him as the guy shaken up drinks and trouble at Taylor’s on the weekends!

Name: Parker Belan
Twitter Handle: @parker_belan
Year: Junior
Major: Business
Relationship Status: Widowed/ It’s Complicated
Fraternity: Kappa Sigma
Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers

Tell us a dad joke:
“How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, ‘ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘Rub it, rub it.’”

What do you think about when you’re sitting in traffic and your kids are screaming about God-knows-what in the backseat?
The good dick I’m going to receive when I get home because I picked up the kids.

What are 5 words to describe your freshman year self?:
Dab, light weight, white girl wasted, frat bro, pledge.

What’s the first thing you do when you want to ghost a girl?:
Throw a sheet over her and make her run around the room trying to scare me, adding “boo” in there for more of an effect. Sometimes, I like to pretend to be the ghost as well so we can switch things up.

Where’s the best place to hide when your wife comes home and you’re with your mistress?
Under the bed, and keep going. *wink wink*

How many times a week do you brag about your old frat days to your kids?
Literally all day everyday, my brothers are my whole life. They are my family. They are gods.

Why do you think men like to get into fistfights when they drink?
Because they need to overcompensate. I get in fights every time I go out.

Explain what it means to be “Bad and Boujee”:
Cooking up dope with the uzi. @Jill Rogers is the definition of a bad thang, she’s fine as hell too.

Why do you think you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
Cause my girl calls me Daddy, so it seems fitting.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
So they can read dope shit like this article.

 

WATCH: For some, spring break is about partying on the beach. For others, it’s about wallowing in despair:

 

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