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UO Student Noticeably Upset by First Warm Day in Eugene


While most students at the University of Oregon have been excited about the turn in the weather, some students including Gary Pierce, a UO sophomore, were not as pleased.

“At first I was pumped that the rain finally stopped, but after breaking an intense sweat
walking to class I was ready for the clouds to come back,” said Gary who after walking to class had to unzip and remove the legs of his cargo pants.

When asked why he hated the sun so much Pierce stated, “I sat outside for five minutes and my
farmer’s tan is now worse than ever. It’s hot and I feel sticky and I just want it to be cold again.”

Gary got so sunburned that he couldn’t attend any evening festivities later that night. He was stuck rubbing aloe on his burned calves in his room.

Gary’s girlfriend Marsha Lynch, however, doesn’t understand his disgust with the weather.

“I was so excited to float the river and soak up some rays,” said Lynch. “But Gary has drawn the blinds and refuses to leave his ice bath. Our power bill will be off the charts this month if he doesn’t turn down the AC.”

Luckily for Gary the weather forecast predicts more rain this week, however he has stated that he plans to transfer if this fluctuation in weather continues.

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