University of Oregon to Change Name Due to High Enrollment of California Students

author-pic at University of Oregon  

Due to the increased enrollment of students from California, President Schill has declared the University of Oregon will become part of the University of California system, with the plan to rename the institution UC Eugene. 

Numbers have increased significantly, and there are now more California students attending the University of Oregon than students from in-state this year. 

“I honestly thought this switch would come sooner,” said bay area sophomore Bryan Smith. “I mean almost my entire high school graduating class goes here, and we were referring to it as OCal anyway.”

Students applying to UO already seem to be aware.

“Wait, I thought this was a UC school, is it not?” said one high school senior on a campus tour. “But everyone is wearing Birks and they all seem super liberal, I’m confused.”

Some students are not as enthusiastic as others. Portland native, Sandy Adams, voiced some of her concerns about the change.

“The only reason I came to this God forsaken university was for in-state tuition!” Adams explained. “Does this mean I’m going to have to like, pay more?”

Other changes to come include: a mandatory use of the phrases ‘good vibes’ and ‘hella,” division of the dorms by NorCal and SoCal kids, and the erection of an In-N-Out in the EMU. 

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