The newcomers of sororities for Spring 2018, welcome! Now that you finally have your voice back from all those tedious forced conversations during recruitment, you can look forward to weeks upon weeks of being told what to do! The Black Sheep is here to give you the facts about the 7 things that girls really do during PSU pledging.
7.) Take a class on voice fluctuations:
Every pledge must take Voice Changing 100A, VCNG100. This class will be held in Forum and exclusive to sorority pledges. It will teach students how to drastically change their speech to either the high-pitched Valley girl or the low croaky vocal fry. Your grade in the class will be dictated on whether or not the sound of your voice changes sufficiently by the end of the semester.
6.) Pillow fights:
The male population is so turned on by knowing a chick is in a sorority that boys would rather watch girls in Greek letter sweatshirts have a pillow fight than watch them naked in their underwear. For this pledging activity, Frat Row sets up indoor sumo-wresting pits where guys bid on bundled-up, pillow-tossing ladies.
5.) Hot dog eating competition:
There’s only one slight difference between the Food Network edition and the Penn State South Halls edition: no meat and bread allowed ladies! Instead of hot dogs, it’s strictly only the consumption of vegetables. Yes, a vegetable eating competition. Traditionally, the veggies are bought at McLanahan’s, in bulk of course. The winner gets the grand prize of shitting out corn.
4.) Learn how to do makeup the right way:
Makeup wasn’t invented for us to use it “lightly” or “in moderation.” Watch YouTube tutorials, surf Google, search Wikipedia, whatever it takes. Look up how to contour with highlighter, or just how to imitate a clown. Either will give you what you need to learn for pledging, transforming you from a caterpillar into a butterfly, complete with mandatory eyeliner wings.
3.) Mandatory poster of “Sparkle On” in your room:
You’ll have to send a selfie of yourself once a week to the sorority president with your “Sparkle On” poster in your East Halls dorm room. This is for them to ensure that this 5 foot monstrosity is always the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before bed. How else will you be your best self without this deep and heavy inspirational quote?
2.) Starbuck’s Gold Card:
How else will mandatory three-a-day Starbucks dates at the HUB with your new sisters ever happen if you don’t have a Starbucks Gold Card? If you don’t manage your coffee life, you can’t manage a sorority life.
1.) Only drink through bendy straws:
Conducting an activity that is the opposite of what a pledge would anticipate is the route to go, sororities implement an anti-chug rule. At all times, a bendy straw must be in pledges cups and cans. This way, the sorority sees if the newbies are willing to trade looking weak and stupid for the chance to become a sister. As they try to survive months without beer bongs and shotguns, the girls will be dropping out like flies.
If you’ve made it this far there’s no use in quitting now. Good luck, ladies, and pledge on!
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