We’ve all been there: stuck in Indigo’s block-long line with nothing better to do than wait around while your buzz slowly wears off. While the situation may seem dire: fear not! Here are seven ways to keep yourself occupied until it’s time to get sweaty and trashy inside.
7.) Become the Indigo Preacher:
It’s clear that no one is going anywhere anytime soon, meaning you have an audience all to yourself. Make College Ave your Willard Steps as you pace back and forth musing about whatever comes to mind. Maybe you’ll enlighten your fellow Indigo-patrons about the merits of certain chasers or the moral consequences of getting too drunk at the pre-game. Your friends might pretend they don’t know you afterward, but The Lord will appreciate your efforts.
6.) Practice step & repeat poses:
It would be absolutely tragic for you to show up to Indigo’s infamous photo op unprepared. Thankfully, the wait offers you more than enough time to find the perfect pose. Even better, you can ask everyone in line for feedback on your ideas. Nothing like brutal honesty from your peers to give you a major confidence boost!
5.) Threaten to puke:
Pretend you’re the lightest of the lightweights and can’t even make it into the bar. By screaming about your impending vomit-fest, you’ll likely get at least a few people to run away from you, opening up some spots in the line. You can continue to have false alarms until you reach the front of the line.
4.) Huddle for warmth with the hottest person in line:
Use the cold to your advantage by asking the hottest person you can find to huddle for warmth with you. Actually, don’t even ask; people love when strangers stand really close to them. They’ll like you even more if you breathe heavily into their face. You’re welcome for the dating tips.
3.) Complain to everyone:
When everyone’s already thrilled to be sobering up in the cold, you should totally start complaining. You can whine about pretty much anything, from the smell of the guy next to you to the volume of Indigo’s music. People really love complainers, so you’ll definitely make lots of new friends. The louder you are, the more buddies you’ll get to meet!
2.) Bring out the “WE ARE” chant:
Remind everyone that they’re all part of the Penn State Cult by yelling “WE ARE” every few minutes. You’ll know you’re doing it right when the responses morph from “Penn State” to “Shut the fuck up.” Everyone definitely appreciates your school spirit!
1.) Order from Grubhub:
Not only will you have greasy food to keep you warm, but you’ll be much happier than everyone else around you without Uncle Chen’s. Earn some cash while you’re at it by charging everyone who asks you to share.
Congrats! Now that you’ve pissed off everyone else in line, you can begin your night of drunken dancing and sweating with strangers!
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