With our prime location in The Middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania, Penn State remains the center of the Sheetz vs. Wawa debate. Students are forced to pick sides and fight passionately for our chosen mini-mart. Today, two of the The Black Sheep’s finest Staff Writers are letting both sides argue over who’s better when it comes to Pennsylvania’s convenience stores:
Kelly Weaver: I mean, the names say it all.
Wawa is like that sound cartoons make when a character runs into a wall or something. Sheetz however, exudes cool. It’s edgy with a “z” in its name, like Jay-Z, Yeezy, and Zooey Deschanel. Essentially, Sheetz could be a rapper’s stage name and Wawa is just a sound effect.
Addie Lazzell: Okay, but Wawa can actually spell.
Speaking of names, at least Wawa doesn’t have to misspell the name of every menu item just to disguise how awful their food is. Did someone at Sheetz think people wouldn’t notice how mediocre their fries are if they just call them “Fryz”? What about the stale donuts they call Shweetz? Sorry Sheetz, we are certainly not fooled.
Kelly Weaver: You’re forgetting Sheetz has fried everything. Literally everything.
Oh, you wanna talk about food? Imagine a food, literally any food. Sheetz definitely has a fried version of it. It’s not only delicious, but also quintessentially American. Unlike Wawa, Sheetz doesn’t try to change you with healthy nonsense. In this country, we won’t touch a vegetable unless it’s fried, and Sheetz respects that. You’re welcome.
Addie Lazzell: YOU’RE forgetting Sheetz is for tractor-loving country bumpkins.
Wawa is the ~classy~ side of America. We’re from the nation’s first capital and Pennsylvania’s best city. Sheetz is reserved for country towns without sophisticated taste. If you tell people you’re a Sheetz person, you’re basically admitting to being from Pennsyltucky.
Kelly Weaver: Wawa is just-outside-of-Philly-hoagie-loving trash.
Don’t reference Philly like you’re actually from there. Most of you Wawa people are really from Bucks County, an hour outside of the city. And that sophisticated taste of yours is laughable. All Wawa has to offer are hoagies, as if those even count as a classy food. Don’t pretend you’re anything more than a second-rate gas station.
Addie Lazzell: Actually, some of us are from Montgomery County.
Excuse me, but Montgomery is forty minutes from Philly, so we get more of a claim to the city. Besides, Sheetz people are always saying they’re from Pittsburgh when really they only go into the city to visit friends at Pitt (which really should get you expelled from Penn State at this point).
Kelly Weaver: Okay so we’re both liars, but Downtown State College chose Sheetz:
No matter where you’re originally from, we all ended up in State College with a Sheetz and no Wawa. Say what you will about Sheetz, but we’re willing to bet you still stop on Pugh Street after leaving The Gaff. It seems Sheetz is the choice of Penn State, so you might as well accept your defeat and enjoy some Boom Boom Sauce.
Addie Lazzell: State College doesn’t know what’s good for it.
We lost The Skeller, Spat’s, and The Diner all in the last month. Downtown is turning into apartment building construction and donut shops. State College, we love you, but no wonder there’s a Sheetz and no Wawa here.
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