Exciting news, PSU fam–There will be a reason to visit Penn State this summer that isn’t Arts Fest. Music festival Karoondinha will rock central PA from July 21 to 23 in Centre Hall, featuring headliners Chance the Rapper, John Legend, Odesza and others. Now, to address the most important question: How can we appropriate other cultures but still maintain a PSU vibe in our outfits? The Black Sheep is here to be your personal offensive stylist.
10.) The Legend of Princess Nita-Nee:
Create a Native American headdress, but use Nittany Lion tails instead of feathers. Can you say Penn State Medusa? And you’ve gotta love the feminist power of a strong female beast from Hades.
9.) Tropic Thunder-Style Lion Cape:
Take the last look a step further and wear a Nittany Lion pelt as a cape. Obviously, its snarling head can serve as your hat, which attaches to the rest of the body. Nobody will push you aside to wriggle to front row!
8.) The PSU Festival Cheerleader:
You know those sexy coconut bikinis they wear in Hawaii? Make the coconut boobs out of deflated footballs (sup, Tom Brady), and make the grass skirt out of premium football field turf. Now all the bros will know you’re a cool girl who understands sports.
7.) Oktoberfest or KaroondinhaFest?:
Why should exotic—er—non-Western– cultures be the only ones we appropriate? With this in mind, consider wearing a Penn State-themed dirndl to Karoondinha. This also gives you a convenient excuse to carry a stein. But who says you have to fill it with beer?
6.) It’s Not A Riot, It’s A Pillaging:
In keeping with this theme, find some deer antlers on the outskirts of PSU’s campus and make your own Viking helmet. Time to, like, totally pillage the refreshment stands between acts because you’re so physically and emotionally spent from dancing.
5.) Ready Torah-lly:
Have you ever seen a more dapper group than male orthodox Jews? Didn’t think so. Emulate their effortless, godly swag by getting your own black suit, white shirt and top hat for the festival. Make it Penn State by adding Nittany Lion ears to the hat. The orthodox are very modest, but the “less is more” concept is a surefire way to make yourself stand out this July.
4.) Forever Penn State’s, Faithfully:
Similarly, if you happen to be a Christian, try the Penn State nun look by wrapping a PSU blanket around your head and body to serve as your habit. Complete the look with some blue and white Mardi Gras beads in place of a rosary. Everyone knows that nuns know how to party! And they’re also usually good singers.
3.) Tilt That Kilt:
In a culturally insensitive twist of the pedophilic obsession with dressing as a sexy schoolgirl, try dressing as a sexy Scotsman, instead. They basically wear the same outfits, but you get the added perk of carrying a bagpipe. Learn how to play on that baby and you’ll be getting all the PSU lassies.
2.) It’s A Party In The USA:
You could also go the Stolen Valor route and dress like you’re in the military when really you’re just a State College degenerate. Sure, it’s illegal, but it’s not like that’s the only illegal thing you’ll be doing at Karoondinha. Ayeeee.
1.) Karoondinha Can Be A Carnival, Too:
Finally, what’s the biggest party of them all? Caribbean Carnival. July in Central PA is the perfect time to don sequined lingerie with feather wings outdoors. The concertgoers around you won’t appreciate your ensemble blocking views of the concert, but would it really be a PSU event without some drama? Nope.