5 Stages of Post-Spring Break Depression at Pitt

author-pic at University of Pittsburgh  
 
 
Coming back to college after a week of bliss is hard. You wasted a whole week literally doing nothing and now you have two essays due. Here’s the five stages of coming back to school after Spring Break.
 
 
Monday:
Guess who’s back, back again. You need to have a few margaritas with the girls and get the inside details about everyone’s Spring Break. Screw homework you have to find out if Becky got with Brad in Cancun. Being back is gonna be lit. There’s so much to look forward to. Heck, tomorrow is Taco Tuesday. I’ll drink to that.
 
 
Tuesday:
Okay so today isn’t too hot. You didn’t do any homework that’s due for your Tuesday/Thursday classes because you were too busy worrying about your Monday/Wednesday classes. Plus, you ate lunch late so by the time you got to market they were out of guac yet again. I swear the only good Tuesday is Mardi Gras but that ship has sailed and you somehow gained weight in the one week of Spring Break. In hindsight, maybe you didn’t need that guac anyway. Today sucks. So you didn’t get your taco so have yourself a margarita. Actually, you need something stronger than that. Skip the juice, just take the tequila.
 
 
Wednesday:
Class at 9 a.m.? What were you thinking signing up for this? You slept through the entire class and have to ask your friend for the notes. They’re bad. LikeRevenge of the Sith‘s dialogue bad. Being back in class is not that same as hugging your dog and drinking wine in the bathtub. If you try to take a bath at school there’s a 95% chance you’ll get ringworm. What’s your substitute? Crackin’ open a natty in the communal shower.
 
 
Thursday:
Somehow you make it through your classes. Somehow. Probably those seven cups of coffee. And the three energy bars. One more day and you can party like it’s 1999 and Trump isn’t president. But first, let me take a selfie. And a shot. Because it’s Thirsty Thursday and this booty just wanna pop and forget about that four-hour lab tomorrow. 
 
 
Friday:
Yes. Today’s the day. You just have to suffer through a few more hours of class and a lecture from Becky about how Thirsty you got yesterday. After a meal of rice and something or not from market you head back to your dorm and beat out that online math homework that’s due at 12PM tonight cause God knows you’ll be so far past it by that time. The night is lit with Chance blasting and nattys being shot-gunned. You end the night somehow winding up at Sorrento’s like always. 
 
 
Maybe spring break is over, but Pitt is still lit.
 
 

WATCH: Trump’s latest plan may be the most controversial.