We all know what we’re going to college for. It’s not knowledge, it’s not to make friends (at least we hope not because we haven’t made any), it’s to get a degree. But a degree means a little more from some places than others. And here at Pitt, most of our degrees require a solid course load built on the fundamentals of the topic. But a Penn State degree… you can get one of those by doing just about anything.
7.) Buying a shirt on sale:
If you take advantage of a good sale or maybe even a buy one get one half off, Penn State will probably give you a business degree. Good job finding those deals guys!
6.) Putting on a Band-Aid after a paper cut:
You’re reading your book late at night, frantically flipping through your copy of How to Win a Road Game Against a Ranked Opponent For Dummies, and you cut your finger! You put on a Band-Aid and boom, you have an emergency medicine degree from Penn State. To graduate with honors, try washing the cut and putting on Neosporin beforehand.
5.) Selling something on Free and For Sale:
Does Penn State have a Free and For Sale page? We don’t know, but if they do and you can successfully sell something on there, Penn State will award you with a degree in marketing!
4.) Making a Spotify playlist:
Put together a nice playlist for your party and fill it with dope dubstep remixes of popular rap songs and Nickelback’s greatest hits and you’ll be receiving your music degree in the mail, courtesy of Penn State.
3.) Watching Inception:
This is a chance for you to get a film studies major from Penn State. Watch Inception one night when you don’t have anything else to do and sort of pay attention. You don’t even have to understand the end, or the levels of dreams, or anything other than the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio is a really good actor.
2.) Taking Tylenol for a headache:
This is a chance for you to earn a graduate degree! Get your pharm D from Penn State after properly medicating yourself to alleviate your headache from your most recent Big Ten loss.
1.) Writing for The Black Sheep:
We hear writing for The Black Sheep at Penn State actually earns you a creative writing, journalism, and oddly enough an education degree. So we’ll be waiting to receive our degrees either in the mail, or if we’re invited to walk at Penn State we’ll see you guys in April!
So if you’ve just bombed half your midterms here at Pitt, don’t worry, at least you can always get a degree at Penn State.