The 3 Best and 3 Worst Places to Vape on Pitt’s Campus

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It’s not just a way to smoke without cigarettes, it’s a lifestyle, man. But it’s hard for a fella to rip fat clouds of strawberry cheesecake vape nowadays without some dweeb getting mad about the cloud. So here’s the best places to heat up your coils (the part that gets hot and vaporizes stuff, for you non vapers) on Pitt’s campus, just so you’re aware:


3.) Laying on Soldiers and Sailors Lawn:

Just blow them straight up dude. Let your clouds mingle with mother earth’s clouds. It’s just water vapor. Even if you don’t use nicotine, just do it anyway. I always like to pick banana split smoothie for this, but you can do what you like man, just get your mod and start giving freebies to the people tossing frisbee over you.

 

2.) Right Next To Your Professor as He Grades Your Paper:
He/she will love it! We know you vapers aren’t really science majors often, so this kindof applies. Wen you’re taking one of Pitt’s low-level comp classes ‘just for fun mom’ you gotta let them know the specific flavor of your paper. And your vape juice.

 

1.) Right Off The Top Of Cathy:
Yah you’re a legend if you pull this off. Points if you blow a super cool ring up to vapegod Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback. You’d be spitting clouds over the whole campus, and if you bring grape vape juice, you could make purple rain. 

 

The rest of the list now entails the worst places/times/general criteria to vape.

3.) Anywhere:
Yeah, that’s right, stop blowing your thick clouds in my face of I don’t know what while walking to class in this non-stop Pittsburgh rain. We got enough water as it is buddy, and that stuff sure isn’t just vapor, it smells like a jelly-belly vomit flavored jellybean.

2.) Anytime:
No, not during class right in front everyone, we can’t see the slides! What are you doing, trying to make this lecture a stage show, you being the fog machine? That box stick thing you’re holding looks like a lightsaber. Can you play games on it? Load a movie and watch it on the screen so at least we have some entertainment.

 
1.) Anyone:
You got like four visible tattoos and a shaved eyebrow and gauges, and to top it off you gotta inhale a bunch of random crap? I get it its just water, but it smells like cotton candy and a fart mixed and came outa your mouth. Your lungs must have as much hair dye looking stuff as your actual hair has in them.

 

So all in all, if you like vaping, just read the first half, if you’re a normal person, keep being cool and reading The Black Sheep.

 

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