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How to Get a Hot Spring Break Bod with the Panther Workout Plan

 

Summer is coming. The gains are calling and all of that sadness pizza you’ve ordered this whole winter has caught up to you. You know it has… don’t lie to yourself. And while it’s important to know that you’re beautiful just the way you are, you can get in shape the Panther way with our Pitt workout plan. We’re going to isolate the key groups and how to attack them.

 

The Core:

 

3.) Shotgunning 3 Beers in a Row:
If you put down three cans of cheap beer without vomiting you’ll really be engaging your core muscles. Also, the sheer physical pain of doing this will prepare you for the long haul of training to get in shape.

 

2.) Sitting Up Straight at Hillman:
Your natural imperative is going to be to slump over your Ochem textbook and drift off into a sweaty sleep. But using your abdominal and back muscles to keep your torso upright will really benefit your core in the long run.

 

1.) Eating at Market:
Let’s be honest here, the food is some stomach-churning culinary nightmare that none of us has ever really enjoyed. But to toughen and tighten your core, we recommend eating the most under cooked, driest and most disgusting plate and then engaging your abs in an effort to stave off the pain of Market-induced indigestion.

 

The Legs:

 

3.) Walk Up the Hill:
You know where we’re going with this.

 

2.) Take the Elevator in the Cathedral:
But to avoid the social stigma of taking the elevator to the third floor, and to avoid having to actually walk up to the third floor (that’s not happening), take the elevator to the fifth floor and walk down the two flights to class. You’ll get a slight leg workout that’s toning and low-impact.

 

1.) Be a Freshman:
You’ll spend so much extra time walking around looking for the right place and just being lost in general that your legs will start to get toned and muscular – and you’ll see lots of cool parts of campus that you probably didn’t care about in the first place.

 

And Finally, the Arms:

 

3.)  Ride Standing on the 10A:
The City of Pittsburgh doesn’t exactly take great care of the roads around here. Have you seen Chesterfield? (No? Consider yourself lucky.) This can make for a terribly bumpy 10A ride, so grab onto to those handrails and pump some iron standing still.

 

2.) Revolving Doors, All the Revolving Doors:
So these are supposed to be easier, right? Well, doesn’t matter because it can be a real pain in the ass to open them. Use as many of the revolving doors at the Pete, the Cathedral and Lothrop that you can.

 

1.) Read The Black Sheep:
It takes some serious arm muscles to click on all our dank content. And the laughs will stimulate your core too. DOUBLE WORKOUT!

 

Remember, you’re a perfect flower the way you are, but with these tips, can be a panther-fit perfect flower.

 

 

 

WATCH: Being in Business School is actually really really hard you guys.

 

 
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