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An Optimistic Interview with Freshmen on Pitt Finals

Finals week is upon us. Spirits are weakening, Cathy is overflowing, and concerning, half-serious suicide jokes are at an all-time high. While most students are collapsing beneath a self-inflicted heap of anxiety, one group is remaining positive despite the stress: freshmen. We spoke to multiple first-year students about their finals week experiences to see how they were coping with the most hellish of weeks. Here are some of their answers.

5.) How far in advance did you prepare for final exams?:
“The professor said the final is all multiple choice. The answer is right there somewhere so I shouldn’t have to prepare too much.”
“Finals week is after Christmas, right?”
“I always studied the night before in high school, that works for me.”  
“Months. Literally, as soon as I got the syllabus I started reading ahead and making flashcards. I’m going to be a TA for the class next semester so I kind of have to. I guess I’m just an overachiever, but like I’m probably going to fail, it’s a struggle.”

4.) How and where do you prefer to study?:
“I take up a whole Market booth and spread all my stuff in front of me. Then I leave it there and walk away.”
“I walk around the first floor of Cathy for a while, but it’s always like, really full there. Maybe I’ll try ground floor of Hillman?”
“I can’t study without music, so I blast it through the speakers in my dorm with the door wide open.”
“I like to go to the TA office hours, but he said we could study one-on-one at his place if I wanted to. He’s so nice!”

3.) What’s your hardest class?:
“Seminar in comp.”
“Ugh I’m pre-med so all my classes are so hard. Some of my friends are changing majors but I’ll never do that.”
“I don’t know, I skipped a lot.”
“Campus clarity.”

2.) Do you have any advice for next year’s freshman class?:
“Make sure you get all your books at the University Store so you don’t have to wait for them to ship.”
“Finals don’t count for much of your grade so don’t stress too hard.”
“Pay for a private tutor so you can have extra help.”
“The best study spot on campus is Towers lobby.”

1.) Is the Chancellor a lizard person?:
“What the fuck?”
“Of course, the evidence is all there.”
“Is that related to finals?”
“That’s offensive to lizard people.”

[Update] After these interviews were conducted, sources tell us that all of the students failed their finals. They have now taken to day-drinking to ease the stabbing pain of their parents’ disappointment.


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