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How to Spend Your Summer Based on Typical Pitt Majors

 

Spring break just passed and we’re already daydreaming of our next vacation. Should you switch up your plans and go Las Vegas? New York? Antarctica? We know it’s hard to choose which destination will be the most envy inducing. Thankfully, we’ve created a handy guide to help you chose your summer vacation, all based on your major.

 

7.) Biology:
Your ideal vacation is to anywhere the latest disease outbreak is.  Most of you are pre-med anyway, and the rest can have fun by examining the virus or bacteria under their microscopes.  What better way to spend your break than with a population of sick people and a deadly illness?  Your friends will sulk back to their beachfront hotels, jealous of your selfies in front of the hospitals.  There’s an added bonus as well: if the stress of going back to school ends up being too much, you can just infect yourself!

 

6.) Chemistry or Physics:
Lucky you!  You don’t have to go anywhere!  Your perfect vacation is right where you are, the world is your playground.  Chemists can have fun analyzing the chemicals in their class of lemonade.  Physicists can just sit outside for hours.  Envision those vectors!  Turn on your air conditioner and see thermodynamics at work!  Your friends may not but jealous, but at least you’re saving up money for grad school.

 

5.) Computer Science:
Pack your bags, because you’re heading to… your basement.  Let’s be honest here, unless you went into computer science for the money, you’re probably a little bit of a geek.  You’ll spend your days glued to your very own screen, able to swap your coding for a more rewarding endeavor, such as gaming.  You don’t have many friends to impress anyway.  The ones you do have are surrounded by their basement gaming systems, just like you are.

 

4.) Liberal Arts:
It doesn’t matter if you’re anthropology, English lit, or any other major that falls under the liberal arts umbrella.  The place you should be heading to is… India!  Or any other culture that you deem foreign enough.  Your bestie is heading to England, to spend time amongst the posh.  But not you.  You’re putting yourself out there, really experiencing the cultures of the world! You’ve even picked up a few words in Hindi.  And your trip is so much more awakening than everyone else who is heading to other parts of India, Nepal, China, Africa.  It’s so original, so unique.  You’re a person of the world now.  Namaste.

 

3.) Pre-Law:
Excite your senses by packing up and spending the summer at your local prison!  Or a prison somewhere else, if that pleases you.  You’re already so dedicated to the law, might as well spend some time getting to know your future clients.  Live as they live, eat the same foods they do, get into the same territory fights.  This is your version of the cultural awakening your non-law liberal arts friends are getting, but instead of being caught up in dance festivals you’re caught up in the struggle for dominance.  It’ll just help you assert that you’re the alpha in your friend group.

 

2.) Nursing and Pharmacy:
Spend the days of your summer floating lazily… in a sensory deprivation tank.  The breaks from school are nice, but from the minute you finish finals you’re overwhelmed with anxiety about the next semester.  Everything you see reminds you of school.  God forbid you get sick, you can’t even imagine seeing the inside of a hospital right now.  Thankfully a sensory deprivation tank will cut you off from the outside world.  Take a break from it all… literally everything.  No smells, no sights, no sounds, no tastes, and barely even touch, just where your body meets the water.  So relaxing.  You’ll be the envy of all.

 

1.) Engineering:
Impress your friends by heading straight to the grave.  There is nothing that you cannot see engineering in.  Your anxieties are that of the nursing majors, but worse. The only way you can recharge is through death.  Will you resurrect before the semester starts? You’ll come back infinitely more relaxed.  Decide to stay underground permanently? Your suffering is finally over.  Next summer all your friends will be mimicking you, but hey, you did it first.

 

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