It’s January at Pitt and winter is here, though it does take a break on some days. There are many things to love about the city in the winter: snow flitting around a majestic looking Cathy, ice skating downtown, and seasonal drinks at Starbucks! This article is not about that. This article is about how to survive the frozen hell on earth we call winter at Pittsburgh.
4.) No 8 A.M.s:
First semester you was a real dick, huh? At some point on a beautiful fall day some version of yourself decided that taking an 8 a.m. next semester isn’t a big deal, that you want to take this class and that you’ll totally get up early and it’ll make you a productive human being! You didn’t take into account the pain of waking up at 7 a.m. in the darkness of winter and having your wet hair freeze as you speed-walk to class because you were running late but still wanted a shower.
3.) Avoiding Stairs:
This is less of a pro tip and more of a survival tip. For those who live on upper campus especially, snow is not as fun as it used to be when you were a kid; no more playing around in the snow and, most importantly, no more snow days. What does the snow mean? Either the stairs are a slippery death slope, or our wonderful university coats each stair in enough salt to give an Olympic gymnast hypertension. Both of these scenarios leave you with either a full body bruise and concussion from the tumble down or a 30 minute trek down taken with the same level of care you’d expect from a mountaineer descending Everest. Maybe the 10A is the move.
College students consistently complain about spending money, and rightly so. Textbooks are expensive, tuition is expensive, and eating out can be expensive. So when the weather gets chilly and you need that pick me up before your first class, you probably head to Starbs or Dunkin’ or Common Grounds. But if you’re doing that once, twice, thrice a week We’re more willing to drop money on good coffee than on semi-mediocre alcohol. How does a college kid avoid this necessary expenses? A Keurig! Is Keurig paying us? No, but they’re about to get some free advertising. Go get a Keurig, make your own damn coffee every morning.
1.) Lower Standards:
You’re at a bar or a South O party somewhere far (maybe across the Boulevard). You’re drinking, having a good time, dancing with some rando you don’t know and you might go home with if you were both a drink or two deeper. Well, instead of needing another drink or two, think about the fact that your buzz is wearing off, which means your Bacardigan is gonna be gone soon, and you have a 3 mile walk back to your apartment in the dead of night by yourself since your friends ditched you an hour ago for Sorrento’s. Uber is out of the question (even though spending $12 on coffee a week isn’t) and you aren’t in shape because you haven’t been keeping up with your New Year’s resolution. So all of a sudden, that rando you’re grinding with (who lives a couple streets away) looks a lot more attractive than they would in September. So get off that high horse and get on that rando!
If you’re wise you’ll hibernate throughout winter, but if you’re forced to go out in the cold, cruel world of Oakland terrain, these insider tips might just help you survive.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: