It’s good to be back. Going home for the summer can feel like a blessing at times, but it’s just not the same as life at Pitt. Your mom’s always asking where you’re going and you have to be discreet when you get drunk on a Tuesday. Here are a few more things from your Pitt life you probably missed this summer.
5.) Drunken $6 Pizza:
While going home puts you closer to your favorite local pizza joint, the pizza is just so expensive now. The pizza in Oakland may be subpar, but it was just so cheap. How are you supposed to justify spending more than $6.42 for a large cheese pizza at 2 in the morning? In Oakland you even had $6 pizza options, depending on if you felt like Antoon’s or Sorrento’s that night. Now, you have to pay nearly $10 for pizza and the Qdoba closes at a reasonable hour? It’s just a damn shame.
During the school year you did nothing but complain to your parents about Market and how terrible the food is, and how your stomach will never be the same. Now, you find that you had actually started to miss the cold cheeseburgers, even the Market Maggot. At home if you wanted to eat an ungodly amount in one sitting you actually had to make it, and where’s the fun in that?
3.) Hillman Library:
While it was a monument to your suffering during finals week, you find yourself longing for Cup & Chaucer’s watery coffee and checking online for available study rooms, even though you’re “just outside of Philly.” At home when you told your parents where you’re going they would roll their eyes, wondering how long you can keep fucking off until you actually do something productive. At Pitt, you don’t even have to lie to your parents and they’re proud of you. You can go to Hillman and do nothing but drink your body’s water content in caffeinated beverages, spend hours scrolling through Facebook, and stalk your hook-up’s third cousin twice removed, but hey, you’re at the library.
Alright, let’s be honest, you never really would miss Cathy. But you never thought you’d be so lost in your hometown. Even though you’ve lived there your whole life, you were basically useless at getting around, especially when you’re drunk. On the streets of South O, you have Cathy looming above to guide you home. You know you have to go towards her when you’re lost, and you’ll eventually come to Forbes, Fifth, or a semi-recognizable frat house on Atwood that you’ll know the way back from. Without Cathy, your drunken escapades and 3 am walks of shame get much more complicated.
1.) The Lack of Penn State Shit:
Oakland is a sanctuary, far away from any Penn State paraphernalia, whether it be shirts, bumper stickers, or JoPa replica dildos. At home, you were constantly forced to confront that trash school and the people that would be willing to sacrifice their firstborn child to the Nittany Lion.
Don’t worry Panthers, you’ve got the whole school year ahead of you!