Top 5 Pitt Things You Never Thought You’d Miss

author-pic at University of Pittsburgh  

Going home for the summer can feel like a blessing. You finally can get away from the stressors of your school life and focus on the more important things, like playing that video game for the twentieth time or sleeping until dinner. However, once you leave Oakland you quickly realize what you’ve lost. You’ll find yourself fantasizing about things that you barely even noticed while you were at school.  Life at home is tough.  Here are a few things at Pitt you probably took for granted.

5.) Drunken $6 Pizza:
While going home puts you closer to your favorite local pizza joint, the pizza is just so expensive now. The pizza in Oakland may be subpar, but it was just so cheap. How are you supposed to justify spending more than $6.42 for a large cheese pizza at 2 in the morning? In Oakland you even had $6 pizza options, depending on if you felt like Antoon’s or Sorrento’s that night. Now, you have to pay nearly $10 for pizza and the Q’doba closes at a reasonable hour? It’s just a damn shame.

4.) Market:
During the school year you did nothing but complain to your parents about Market and how terrible the food is, and how your stomach will never be the same. Now, you find that you’re actually starting to miss the cold cheeseburgers and even the Market Maggot. While you may be eating less oily and less salty food that also tastes better, now if you want to eat an ungodly amount in one sitting you actually have to make it, and where’s the fun in that?

3.) Hillman Library:
While it was a monument to your suffering during finals week, you find yourself longing for Cup & Chaucer’s watery coffee and checking online for available study rooms, even though you’re “just outside of Philly.” Now when you tell your parents where you’re going they roll their eyes, wondering how long you can keep fucking off until you actually do something productive. You didn’t even have to lie when you were at Pitt and they were proud of you. You could go to Hillman and do nothing but drink your body’s water content in caffeinated beverages, spend hours scrolling through Facebook, and stalking your hookup’s third cousin twice removed, but hey, you were at the library.

2.) Cathy:
Alright, let’s be honest, you never really would miss Cathy. But you never thought you’d be so lost in your hometown. Even though you’ve lived here your whole life, you are basically useless at getting around, especially when you’re drunk. On the streets of South O, you had Cathy looming above to guide you home. You knew you had to go towards her if you were lost, and you’d eventually come to Forbes, Fifth, or a semi-recognizable frat house on Atwood that you would know the way back from. Now your drunken escapades and 3 am walks of shame got more complicated.

1.) The Lack of Penn State Shit:
Oakland was your sanctuary, far away from any Penn State paraphernalia, whether it be shirts, bumper stickers, or JoPa replica dildos. At home you’re constantly forced to confront that trash school, and the people that you’re pretty sure would be willing to sacrifice their firstborn child to the Nittany Lion.  

Don’t worry Panthers, it’s June.  Your summer is already halfway done!