Top 5 Reasons the Return to Pittsburgh Totally Sucks

author-pic at University of Pittsburgh  

It’s no secret that coming back from spring break is a real downer. You spent an entire week either watching college basketball, catching up on Netflix, getting tanned on a beach. But the shock of coming back to Pitt is enough to bring even the most carefree (read: communication majors) some stress. Here are a couple things that really suck about being back from spring break.

5.) Week Long Hangover:
So, you went to Mexico for a week and had yourself a classic college spring break? Awesome! Too bad college spring break movies don’t really show you the week after. Because the only thing that can follow 7 straight days of being drunk is, of course, 7 straight days of being hungover. Overall, last week may have taken a decade off of your lifespan. But don’t lie, it was worth it.

4.) Shitty Teachers:
Weird that your week before spring break wasn’t stressful at all huh? You thought you got to coast into the break at ease, all smiling and relaxed like an idiot. How could you be so naïve? Because as you leave your class for the last time before the break, your teacher gently reminds you that you have an exam the day you get back, on top of a presentation and a paper the following class. She says this like she doesn’t know spring break is spent sippin’ margaritas and nailin’ Senoritas, but the glint in her eye tells you that she does know, and that she’s pure evil, and for some reason her pupils are slit and her tongue is forked.

3.) Weather:
Well, we hope it’s nice and sunny wherever you live. California? Florida? Just outside of Philly? Well here we are, on the third week of March, and there’s snow on the ground. So instead of bringing those muscle shirts or salmon shorts (we’re looking at you, frat boys) you have to repack those pants you’ve been wearing all winter, only to get screwed over when the weather gets warm in April but there’s no break for you to go back home.

2.) Impending Doom of Summer:
Pitt’s oddly early ending of the semester means that we have 6 weeks left of school! You’d think this is a good thing, but take a closer look. You have 6 weeks to determine what you want to do over the summer (its been deemed socially unacceptable to lay around and do nothing like you used to), which may entail finding a job, an internship, or maybe register for classes if you’re really into torturing yourself. All of this is 6 short weeks away! That’s only 6 weekends of drinking and having fun with your friends!

1.) St. Patrick’s Day:
Blessed are we to have St. Patrick’s Day on a Friday, and to be in school for it as well. This one doesn’t really suck, in fact its something to look forward to when we come back. Because after a week of scrambling to finish work we should’ve done over break, and a week of setting our sleeping schedules back to normal, what we all need is a holiday that is meant for one thing and one thing only; celebrating Irish culture, in whatever way is most symbolic and meaningful to you.

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