The 5 Best Spots on Chauncey To Stuff Your Face For $3
Sure, the cost of attendance at Purdue isn’t nearly as steep as some other universities, but it’s still pretty emotionally scarring to fork out tens of thousands of dollars a year to pay for an education whose level of difficulty has been driving you to the brink of insanity since you moved in. The Black Sheep understands why your butthole puckers when your annoyingly rich friend suggests you go grab food at a place where the cheapest salad (that’s just a big bowl of lettuce, folks) is $9. To offset the effects of your sad, empty bank account, we’ve compiled a list of 5 places on or near State Street where you can eat for $3.
5.) Taco Bell:
Alright, it’s not like this isn’t a well-known thing, but it would be ridiculous not to put it on the list. You can get 2 bean burritos and one order of cheesy nachos at Taco Bell for just $3.00 – and as long as you can ignore what is probably a freshly-hocked loogie chock full of an employee’s sad, bitter loathing floating in your cheese. Plus, if you’re really lucky, some dumbass will run their car through the front window of yet another nearby restaurant, which would provide some adrenaline-filled entertainment at no cost to you.
Honestly, Chipotle is too fucking expensive to be located in the center of a campus full of people who have a negative bank balance. And whose brilliant idea was it to charge extra for guacamole? But, nonetheless, if you’re craving some overpriced Mexican food from an overrated chain restaurant, you can grab one hard or soft shell chicken or veggie taco for $2.40 plus tax. A drink would put you over $3, but you can ask for a water cup the size of a shot glass if you’re ok with having to go back for a refill every time you take a bite.
Potbelly is actually one of the more affordable options around Chauncey, with most sandwiches costing between $4.00 and $6.00 – a reasonable alternative to Subway, whose sandwiches cost about the same but whose meat selection consists mostly of questionably combined animal parts shoved through a plastic tube and sliced to look like quality product. With $3.00 at Potbelly, you can grab yourself a bag of chips and a deli salad, or if you’re feeling phallic, a bag of chips and a whole pickle.
2.) Rice Café:
Rice Café is a good option for the late night munchies, because it’s open until 4:00 a.m. And, if you spent most of your food money on that freshly-rolled joint, that’s ok! You can get a bowl of wonton soup for $2.95, or a pint of white rice and 12 fortune cookies for $3.00 even. But, don’t try and get it delivered or you’ll end up hopelessly over-budget, considering you’d damn near have to sell a kidney to afford HungryBoiler’s delivery fees.
1.) Red Mango:
Ok, so there’s really nothing filling on the menu for $3.00 or less – but you can get a small frozen yogurt for $3.25 if you bum a quarter off of the asshole in your friend group who suggested you eat out in the first place. If that doesn’t work, you can scrape together what’s left of your dignity and hand it over to the cashier as you buy 5 toppings (no yogurt – just toppings) for $2.75. It might be unorthodox, but at least it’s something.
You might notice that there aren’t any bars on this list. That’s because being at a bar with only $3 will either get you a cute little cup of water and the role of DD for the night, or it’ll buy you such a small amount of alcohol that you’ll pretty much have like, the worst time ever. So, when you’re walking through Chauncey and you know you’re ballin’ on a budget, stick to these restaurants, and we can guarantee that your last $3.00 will be spent conscientiously.
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