Didn’t get your hangover fix during Grand Prix? Were you not able to get on the “list” for any of those exclusive frat parties? Do you have some deep-seated self-hatred issues that only alcohol can straighten out? Now that the parties are over and the cool kids are all sleeping it off, here’s where you can continue the rager.
5.) The ground-floor womens’ restroom lounge in Stewart:
Sure, you might have to put up with the occasional fart sounds and the smell of someone’s half-digested Beefy Frito Burrito coming from the adjacent bathroom, but if you’re looking to chill with your crew in a low-key spot where you won’t be disturbed by the Feds or by annoying RAs trying to give you a drinking citation, this is where you want to go. This ritzy bathroom lounge is complete with carpet stains and a vanity mirror where you can stare at yourself in regret.
4.) Your Friday lab class:
It’s the last week of classes, and nobody cares anymore. Not even your TA. He’s so dead inside by this point, he’ll be drunker than you when your last lab session finally rolls around. Just fill up your HydroFlask with that classy Smirnoff and Sprite combo and sip your sorrows away. It’ll make looking at cell cultures under a microscope way less boring and stupid.
3.) The Silver Loop:
What better way to productively end your school year than by participating in the Silver Loop Challenge? Grab a Den Pop, fill it halfway full with vodka, and try to finish the whole concoction before the bus can make it around every stop! If you succeed, you automatically earn bragging rights! Make your parents proud!
2.) The basement lounge of any residence hall:
Literally nobody goes down here besides a few disgruntled students just trying to wash their underwear. You could probably even smoke out of a gravity bong or bring a hooker down here and nobody would bat an eye. Just grab a shitty iHome speaker circa 2011, some members of the opposite sex, and some crappy Burnett’s that you convinced your 21-year-old friend to buy, and you’ve got yourself a party right at home. No need to Black Loop over to The Acres!
1.) The Intramural Fields:
It’s dark, it’s wide open, and it’s ready for your ass to be out there going hard in the grass. The best part about drinking at the Intramural Fields is that you can either do it solo or with friends, depending on how much you hate your life and how much you don’t want to study for your physics final. Just watch out for that pesky PUPD. If you see red and blue lights flashing, lay down until the coast is clear.
With these tips, you’re sure to have a successful and boozy post-Grand Prix last few weeks of school. Just remember to study for your finals! Or better yet, just show up to your finals drunk too.