You’ve just finished your grande iced coffee and you’re stuck in the middle of Purdue’s campus. Your bladder is screaming red alert. The coffee is suddenly reminiscent of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars and is whispering “good, good, let the pee fill you.” Where do you go? As you trek across campus searching for the perfect place to relieve yourself, “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers pops into your head…
As much as we may hate to admit it, everyone has their special place on campus where they go “read a magazine.” Lady Boilers, if you’re looking to expand your bathroom choices, The Black Sheep is here for you. Below is a helpful guide to Purdue Bathrooms — where you should and shouldn’t go.
4.) The Third Floor of the Union:
Not only is the third floor of the Union a quiet and private place to study on old wooden desks while basking in the sunlight, you can also relieve yourself in the same peaceful environment. The handicap stall is huge – it has its own sink – and there’s an obscured giant window. Bonus, this bathroom is rumored to be haunted (as is most of the third floor). So if you’re a little paranoid, avoid this bathroom at night. Unless you want some ghost adventures or to have the shit literally scared out of you.
3.) Electrical Engineering (or basically any bathroom in the engineering section of campus):
Quite like the 57:45 ratio of men to women in the engineering major, it seems like the bathrooms reflect this ratio. You can pass at least two men’s rooms before you hit a female restroom. It’s also usually in the middle of nowhere and on the third floor. Sorry to all the lady engineers who have to travel to BFE to find a restroom. Although Purdue tries to make up for the distance and tiny two stall cramped bathrooms by putting chairs or old couches into the entry room. Like seriously, who is sitting in these chairs staring into the stalls? It’s just gross and weird. What’s good, Purdue? The Black Sheep suggests that if you have time, get out of the Engineering Mall or if you have to go block out 30 minutes of wasted time into your study schedule.
2.) First Floor of Stewart Center:
Ahh yes! Now once you figure out when to push or pull the doors, you can earn access into the strange labyrinth that is Stewart. This is a strange, magical building with a gigantic bathroom. Unfortunately, most of it is a powder room. But you can still lavish in feeling like a celebrity when you walk in and see that wall lined with mirrors. Girls love to do makeup (or homework) in this bathroom. It doesn’t quite make sense since there is a library down the hall, but you do you.
1.) Recitation Hall:
One of the original buildings in the heart of Purdue’s campus, Recitation is absolutely gorgeous. Even though it’s fairly old and the plumbing may be questionable, the second floor (and only) female bathroom has access to the balcony that looks out over Memorial Mall. The university doesn’t exactly condone students climbing out there, but we’re not telling you that you can’t. Please don’t be stupid, but if you are don’t blame us.
Good luck, you gorgeous Boiler Babes. May this guide to Purdue bathrooms help you find the porcelain throne so you can pee like the queen you are.