How to Communicate with a Potential Fraternity Lover

author-pic at Purdue University  

Congratulations, pledge! You’ve received a bid to whatever sorority thinks you’re cute enough. Now that you’re learning alcohol responsibility, chapter chants, and how not to embarrass your sisters in public, it’s time to prepare for the best part of the year—date parties. You’re new to the Greek community, so you have to prove that you can snag a somewhat equal frat counterpart for a date. In this day and age, texting and Snapchat are the only viable forms of communication for such relationships. Below, we’ve gathered our top tips to snag a man, according to your desperation.

6.) The Feeler “Hey”:

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You can’t just open any conversation with more than one word; you have to stick to a casual salutation. Add a ‘y’ for every half hour after 8 p.m. to communicate your willingness to bang. Planning on sending him a “heyyyyyyyy?” That’s just a polite way of telling him, “I’m coming over in ten minutes whether you like it or not, and I’m probably going to swipe another rush shirt.”

5.) The Bro Approach:

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Guys love it when you show interest in their interests, like sports. Whenever there’s a game, text him the first thing that pops up on your ESPN app. Next, snap him pics of you in a jersey—sans pants, of course. Before you know it, he’ll be asking you to come over to bong beers and bang. Now you can really prove to him you’re “not like most girls.”

4.) You “Left” Something:

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Once you’ve found a decent frat guy, you have to stake your territory. The easiest way to do so is to start leaving things at his place when you come over to “watch Netflix.” Start off small, and work your way up. Leave your Bombshell bra hanging above his bed like a dream catcher; he won’t be dreaming of anyone’s boobs but yours.

3.) Casual Boob Snap:

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A good way to feel him out is to send him a nude. But not a full nude, because you’re not that committed. Gauge his interest by sending him a selfie with accidental cleavage. If he sends you back a shirtless snap, you can respond with top-of-the-boob. If he keeps responding, get closer and closer to the nipple. Once you’ve gone full nip, you can probably ask what he’s doing three Saturdays from now.

 

2.) Sub-snap:

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Just like preference night when you decided not to suicide Kappa, you’re going to maximize your options. You can’t risk not having a date, and this technique is great for gauging the interest of several guys at once. Dim the lights, buy a pizza, and caption your story with “lonely, who’s up?” to grab attention. First to respond gets to buy your dinner while you take pictures with your sisters.

1.) The Call:

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If date party is a week away and you were too much of a goober to send half of your nipple to him, you’ve gotta call him. But you can’t just call him in the middle of the day—what are you, psycho? You’re only allowed to call him between the hours of 12 a.m. and 3 a.m. for a booty call. Show him what he’ll get to experience on a date party with you—mildly drunk, wildly horny, a winning combination.

Talking to guys is hard, ladies. Like every Thought Catalog and Odyssey article has told you, it’s not you, it’s them. And if you’re going to land a quality fraternity man, you’ll have to play dirty. These techniques don’t make you crazy, they’ll just show him how interested you are. By utilizing such methods, you might find yourself popping out little legacies in ten years, tops!

But wait, how are you even going to get to a date party if you don’t survive rush?