Twitter has recently extended their Tweet limit from 140 to 280 characters. While some have been using the extra words to achieve a political agenda or to support a good cause, others literally just type in a shitload of random letters to let everyone know that they, too, have been blessed with 280 characters. Before you send your first extra-long tweet, here are 5 ideas to get you started.
5.) Send That Super-Insightful Tweet You Thought of After Smoking a Couple Bowls In Your Car At The Top of Slayter Hill:
A 140-character limit no longer bars you from giving all your peers the advice of a 20-something, borderline alcoholic with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and absolutely no idea what to do after graduation. We’re sure everyone’s real grateful for your input. Will it be a Bob Marley quote? Maybe something you heard on a TED talk once or something your senile grandma told you when you were 7? We’re all on the edge of our seats, really.
4.) Tweet 280 Characters Worth of Mr. Brightside:
Wow! You listen to a popular rock band from the early aughts simply because you heard it at a party once and got super uncomfortable when everyone else knew the words except you? So edgy, so original. Not to mention, now we know you party, as if the obnoxious Snapchats of you sexy-dancing with an excessive number of Solo cups in your hand didn’t already clue us in. We’re all thankful that Twitter gave you the power to share this new and insightful information with us.
3.) Rub It In Seth Rogen’s Face:
Not only is this man funnier than almost anyone you know, especially yourself, but he’s also been the star of several movies, he has a hot wife, and he drives a pretty standard Toyota Highlander but totally rocks the shit out of it. So you thought this guy would pretty much always be cooler than you — until now. You, the enginerd who’s never actually gotten laid: now is your chance to absolutely demolish Seth Rogen on Twitter in not 140, but 280 characters. There must be a reason Twitter chose you over a widely-loved celebrity with millions of followers.
2.) Roast the Purdue Math and Physics Department:
With a class exam average consistently ranging anywhere between a 33% and a 60%, we’ve always known that the Purdue math and physics departments have less of their shit together than the students they’re teaching. But up until now, 140 characters just wasn’t enough to encompass the burning hatred that has been building up in the pit of your stomach since freshman year. Now that you have double the characters, you have double the ammo to hit ‘em where it hurts.
1.) Shit On IU:
It’s a longstanding tradition at Purdue that whenever the opportunity presents itself, we explain, in as many words as possible, why Indiana University is the scum between everyone’s toes — a huge, steaming shit sandwich, if you will. Now that we have 280 characters to do so, we can explain in more detail why every single student at IU smells like carrots and throw-up, and why the intelligence and overall success of their football team so closely resembles that of the characters on the children’s TV show Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy. If there ever was a cause for 280 characters, this would be it.