As your mom drives you and four weeks worth of laundry home from Rutgers, you think about all the drinking, friends and complete freedom RU provided. But there are few things you won’t miss at all this winter break and The Black Sheep is glad to bring you six of them.
6.) Sick Students Who Still Come to Class:
You know who they are. The snifflers. The sneezers. That one guy who keeps coughing and can’t seem to get that phlegm out of his throat. You don’t consider yourself a violent person but you’ve thought about molly whopping these kids like it was 2005. If your nose can’t shut the fuck up for lecture, don’t come. Gladly, you won’t have to deal with this incompetency at home.
5.) Walking to Class:
Because Rutgers practically spans across three towns, you walk about two miles a day going from class to class. You spent the semester wishing RU Transportation would create a bus route that goes from the Quads to the business building to avoid the trek in 30-degree weather. But when you’re home, you won’t miss walking in the cold and you’ll be grateful it only takes ten steps to get to your kitchen.
4.) Inconsistent Jersey Weather:
Back home you can stay under the covers in old, crusty Hanes underwear and a t-shirt from the single semester you were in high school choir. No more layering up in a winter jacket to get to your 8 a.m. class and then carrying it around when it’s 50 degrees in the afternoon. Your mom keeps it real by leaving the thermostat at a cozy 75 degrees.
3.) That Kid From Class Who Won’t Stop Texting You:
Ever since you exchanged phone numbers for a group project, he hasn’t stopped texting you. He’s texted every question that could ever be asked about the class you share, and to avoid confrontation you continue to reply. He’s already connected with you on LinkedIn and added you on Snapchat, sending “hey I’m bored, wanna hang” snaps. Thankfully, you can stop replying over break in hopes he gets the hint or moved onto the other person in your group.
2.) Hoeing It Up For a Night Out:
Unlike a night at RU, you don’t have to slut it up for a night of drinking back at home. With your friends, you can wear sweatpants and no one will care. There’s no pressure to uphold the honorary Slutgers title, so you can cover your navel, Debbie. No Delta Chi bros to sleep with at your childhood best friend’s sleepover.
It seems as though everyone at Rutgers except you has no idea how to use a toilet properly. You can never fully enjoy your pee because the person before you always manages to forget to flush or aimed and missed. But at home, you won’t have to cover the seat in four layers of toilet paper to protect yourself from Meningitis. And you’ll always have TP and hand soap at home, unlike all the frat houses that hide their toiletries. How selfish.
After reading this list, you’re probably thankful to be getting a break from Rutgers. But who are you kidding; you’d still take shitty bathrooms and cold weather over living with your parents any day. Five weeks until spring semester and starting this shit all over again—Happy Holidays!