While it’s cute that sites like ESPN, CBS and Sports Illustrated release their own weekly “power rankings” for Big Ten Basketball teams,The Black Sheep took the liberty of taking it to the next level. We know that the teams on the court are significant; but it’s the beer-chugging, sideline-coaching, profanity-shouting fans that lead the squad to victory. That is why we have created our definitive Big Ten fan power rankings, to reveal which schools are actually most powerful.
It’s a masterpiece. From the black and yellow Viking horns (which serve no school or geometric diety), to the wresting uniform equipped with Mardi Gras beads, there’s so much going on in this dude’s outfit that most people fail to realize that he’s wearing a fanny pack. Mad respect to this part-Viking, part-wrestler, part–mom-at–an-amusement-park Hawkeye fan for outweirding everyone on his way to the top of the list.
2.) Ohio State:
It’s nearly impossible to watch an Ohio State game on TV without seeing Big Nut. It wouldn’t surprise us if the paint he covers is head in is lead-based, because he’s an absolute madman out there. This round mound of incoherent sound checks in at a well deserving number 2 on our list.
3.) Michigan State:
The fan affectionately known by Spartan fans as “Johnny Spirit,” brings a game-changing element to our power rankings. The guy can hold a giant flag while biking through tailgates full of drunks. Add that to his full body paint paired with shorts and you have a certified fan god out there.
Our power rankings need more cowbell, and the only prescription is this Michigan fan mimicking Wolverine from X-Men. After doing some research, The Black Sheep’s research team has found that he goes by the name Super Fan and actually has his own website. Points off for the unoriginal name, but way to go out there and market yourself, Mr. Super Fan.
This innovative Wisconsin fan was able to use his natural pale skin tone as a white base coat for his red body paint. If he wants to be the “#1 fan” as his license plate says, he’ll need to lose the shorts and go commando under his robe. A true number-1 fan shows no signs of insecurity.
6.) Penn State:
The spirit of Joe Paterno lives on in this somewhat terrifying replica mask. If the men at Penn State are actually supposed to look like this, we deeply apologize to all of the ladies in Happy Valley.
Minnesota fans get it. To combat Minnesota’s cold weather they wear big fury Gopher costumes that support their team. Now only if they could find a way to sneak booze into the stadium under their fur.
Not many people can pull off a spandex neon orange full body suit, but these guys sure manage to. They look like stealthy futuristic native American chiefs out there. We dig.
Nothing says” Hawaiian Lei” like tropical West Lafayette, Indiana.
This fan takes business casual to the next level, combining a suit with a sport coat. This is the kind of look that says “I’m here to get some business done, but I also may throw a pie in your face.”
We’ve all seen the superhero look a million times before. Get more creative, or at least take the time to print out the actual Maryland “M” for your costume.
They say a picture paints a thousand words. In this picture it’s just the word sloppy 1,000 times. The body paintsmanship is extremely embarrassing, and his head paint is spotty at best. Maybe we should set up a GoFundMe account for this guy to get him a couple goddamn stencils.
That moment when you realize that your body paint is essentially blackface.
Sometimes your team doesn’t perform like they want you to, but that’s no excuse for stripping down to your underwear when they lose. This Indiana fan thought otherwise. Even if you have some sick back tats to showcase, you let your team down when you needed you. Indiana fan is awarded zero points, and may god have mercy on her soul.