Serin Laboratory physicists have discovered a new and natural way to recreate wind tunnel experiments outside of the lab. In recent weeks, students and faculty in lab coats have been spotted battling fierce winds in the walkway between McCormick Hall the construction site of the new Engineering Building next to the Student Center.
Although the winds are uncontrollable, and sometimes strong enough to destabilize walkers, lab staff has said that they’re perfect for recreating natural conditions to test new wind-resistant technologies.
“IT’S SUCH A GREAT NATURAL RESOURCE,” one lab assistant yelled over the wind. “THE SPEED OF THE WIND HERE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO POWER A WHOLE BUNCH OF WINDMILLS. IT’S A SHAME THAT IT’S JUST ONE NARROW TUNNEL IN BETWEEN TWO BUILDINGS.”
Passerby have been greatly perturbed by this new use of the walkways. “It’s awful,” complains Mike Michaelson, a resident of Busch Suites, a few feet away from the notorious tunnels. “There’s so many people crowding up the path that there’s an ever narrower space for the wind to pass through, which makes it stronger. These supposedly smart scientists don’t realize that they’re the people making the winds stronger for everybody else. My friend’s like five feet tall and the last time she had to get home I had to carry her because she couldn’t walk.”
However, the lab staff know their limits. “ONCE MARCH HITS AND THE WEATHER BECOMES WARMER AND LESS TURBULENT, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO BACK INSIDE. THIS IS OUR ONE SHOT TO USE LARGER VERSIONS OF THE SIMULATIONS WE’VE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH FOR SO LONG.”
We hope the experiments wrap up soon; some of us have to get to class without being blown away.
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