Rutgers freshman, James McChick, was forgotten by his parents today and left on Busch campus, reported sources on campus.
McChick exclaimed, “I’m only a freshman. I don’t deserve this! If anyone sees/hears from my parents please let me know.” McChick hasn’t heard from his parents in a few weeks but didn’t think they would forget to pick him up after classes were over.
An anonymous source from Phi Moo said, “I’m friends with that dude’s parents on Facebook. They’re in the Bahamas right now, but I don’t feel bad. James was always a dickhead anyway.”
Many people on Busch have reportedly spotted McChick vaping by the demolished Davidson Buildings, still waiting for his parents.
Ashley Felts spotted him and commented, “I’m not surprised his parents left him. He deserves it. He once walked on a crowded bus before waiting for everyone else to get off.”
McChick recently joined Phi Beta Gamma and reached out to his brothers for a ride, but the entire fraternity has already left campus. McChick explained, “I can’t believe my bros left me. After everything I did to get in, I sucked so much dic—let’s just say I did a lot of things I’m not proud of to get in.”
When asked about McChick’s fraternity involvement, a spokesperson for Phi Beta Gamma said, “Who the fuck is James McChick?”
McChick plans to get a job to make enough money to get back to his hometown, North Brunswick, which is about 15 minutes away from campus.
A bus driver who manages the route from New Brunswick to North Brunswick said, “The bus costs only $4, what the fuck is this kid doing?”
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