In the last few weeks a trail of bread crumbs has been left on Busch Campus, leading to students to where a Burger King in the BCC Food Court used to be. This careless crust leaving has been linked to an uptick in student presence in and around the campus, surprising those subjected to spending their time on Busch anyway.
“It’s crazy,” said Mike Michaelson, a School of Engineering student. “The Student Center used to be dead, but after some idiot dropped all the soggy crust from their sandwich all over campus, all of these… normies flood the place day in and day out. They all keep begging for soup in hollowed-out bread.”
When asked what he meant about “normies”, Mike declined to comment any further in fear of being attacked on the university meme page by supposedly “mean” business students.
The recent surge in willing visitors to Busch has even gone so far as to affect custodians. “There’s too many kids all over the place now, swinging around bags with that Panera logo, I don’t think they realize they’ve been tricked,”complained Ryan White, a BCC custodian. “It was better when no one wanted to come here.”
Some speculate that this trail of bread crumbs may be an elaborate attraction strategy to repopulate the campus for the newest round of high school tours. Whatever it is, the BCC has baited us spectacularly, and until a Panera pops up on every campus and starts running a food truck, it’ll keep us coming back.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: