Sex is a great way to bang out the frustration and tension that come from exam week. But, because dorm rooms and showers have become a bit mundane, here are some places on campus to make threading the needle a bit more interesting:
7.) The Farm on Cook:
Ever wonder how to bring your favorite Charlotte’s Web fan fiction to life? Take your significant other to the pig farm and find out! Role play as either a sexy, literate spider or a pig who is constantly under the pressure of imminent death. Not only will it spice up your sex life, but you’ll literally be “rolling around in the hay.” And if you’re lucky, you’ll be face-to-face with excited swine dick. Ooo, sexy.
6.) Underneath the Class of 1902 Memorial Gateway at Queen’s College:
Tradition says that one should only walk underneath the gateway once as a freshman, and then during commencement. If you walk underneath it any other time, you won’t graduate in four years. But being the rebel you are, you’re thinking “fuck tradition.” Doing the ol’ lust n’ thrust here would be the biggest middle finger to RU, and you’d become the hottest gossip at many future freshman orientations.
5.) Brower Dining Hall:
We all know the food is absolutely disgusting here, so might as well “hide the salami” smack-dab in the middle of the dining hall. You two lovebirds can head over there on taco and churro night and boldly show everyone what they’re already thinking. Just make sure you don’t put a bun in the oven, or you’ll get burned.
4.) The Sukkah Box outside Stonier Hall:
If the box was still there, it’d be the ideal place to pork, which is ironic because pork isn’t kosher. Getting it on in a Jewish wooden box in the middle of College Avenue—it’s the ultimate secret. You’d be the center of attention without anyone knowing it. Perfect for all you couples who enjoy really quiet sex in enclosed, hidden places.
3.) Club Alex:
Also known as Alexander Library. Why else do you think it got the name Club Alex? No one knows what it is about the soft voices, unused textbooks and laptops clicking away, but it’s the ultimate recipe to get college students horny as hell. If you come here after-hours, this place goes absolutely insane. From the café in the basement all the way to the tables on the top floor, you’re guaranteed to find people banging out their frustration.
2.) Cookie Rush Bathroom:
There are only 2 reasons to bump uglies here: 1.) Cookies are bomb and anything associated with cookies is bomb and 2.) When you brag to your friends, you can say “yeah, me and ______ were Crummin at Cookie Rush”. A pretty compelling argument, right?
1.) High Point Stadium:
The ultimate college fantasy! Pick your spot, right on the glorious “R” in the middle of the field, or the traditional end zone. Either way, having sex in the stadium would be absolutely legendary. The craftiness to get in without caught and the thrill of absolutely laying each other out is something that will definitely get you going! At the end of the day think of it like this: If the football team can score here, why not you?
Feel free to venture out of your comfort zone and do the nasty in any of these places. Whether you’re looking to have quickie or hours of passionate lovemaking, Rutgers is full of places to get intimate. So logout of Netflix and explore!