Choate Street Residents Sick of Friends and Family Mistaking Address for “Chode” Street

author-pic at University of Delaware  

For students at University of Delaware, Choate Street is well known as the party capital of Newark, DE. It’s a mecca for drinking on porches, puking off stoops, EDM music that continues into the wee-morning hours, and low-hanging, possibly dangerous telephone wires. However, one thing holds this street back from being the happiest place on earth.

Choate does sound a whole lot like “chode.”

When we brought up the name to someone unfamiliar with the area, the response was as expected, “Haha, y’know, that sounds like ‘chode’”.

The small community has reported that it is tired of this association, and is rallying together to convince Newark to legally change the name. Elizabeth Veronis, resident of 36 Choate, recalls the first time she told her mother where she had put money down on a lease.

“She just made this face of disgust, averted her eyes, and hasn’t spoken to me since,” she said. “That was almost two years ago.”

Jillian Gregory, resident at 38 Choate, began the petition after finally being fed-up with her humiliating location. It began last fall when her long-distance boyfriend came to stay with her for the weekend.

“When I gave him my address, he immediately assumed I was cheating on him. He asked me why I would ever be living on another guy’s chode. I tried to explain, but he broke up with me over the phone,” Jillian explained through tears.

While an impressive thirty-five out of the forty houses on Choate have agreed to sign the petition, the remaining houses have brought up an interesting opposing argument. Chad Johnson, resident at 19 Choate, refuses to sign due to the fact that the name is “fucking hysterical.”

Another Choate house-owner, Tommy James, has also not signed the petition. When we went to his house to ask him why, he told us he hasn’t left his living room in two weeks and “literally had no idea it was even happening.”

“To be honest with you man, I got this new bong a couple weeks ago and I’ve legit just been ripping that shit nonstop,” James said. “If you have a pen or whatever I can just bang it out right now.”

Newark government officials have reported being angry about the number of phone calls they have received about the situation, and even came out with a threatening press release stating that if the harassment does not stop, they will consider changing the name to something even more insulting.

“If the calls don’t stop coming in, don’t think we won’t change it to Dildo Drive,” said government official Nancy Hues.

It is still unclear whether the residents of Choate Street will be awarded the name change in this battle between UD students and the Newark city government, but one thing is for sure: a majority of the Choate Street residents confirm that they are reminded of a little penis every time they have to use their addresses for stuff.