Conspiracy Theorists Speculate State Farm Center Dome is Flat

author-pic at University of Illinois  

The recent explosion of conspiracy theories has inspired one Illinois student Ned Helms to create an RSO dedicated solely to the discovery of phenomena the school might be hiding. Within months, his club Cornfield Conspiracies gained hundreds of members who swear the famous dome on top of the State Farm Center is actually flat.

“Has anyone ever proven that State Farm Center is a dome and not just an illusion put on by the school officials to distract us from something bigger?” asked Helms, with a nervous tic. “All I want is for students to uncover the truth and find out what else UIUC is hiding from us.”

B.o.B., a famous flat-Earth defender, inspired the rumors in 2015 when he headlined the free Spring Jam concert.

“No matter how high I am walking around campus, the stadium dome always looks the same,” said B.o.B. after the concert. “It’s flat, man. I know. I didn’t wanna believe it either.”

In addition to the dome theory, the club’s other popular theory is that Brother Jed has the ability to shape-shift into a lizard person and climb atop the dome during any full moon. Many club members claim to have witnessed this remarkable transformation on the Quad.

Some students, such as sophomore Jake Wild, had other expectations for the budding RSO.

“Honestly I thought we were just gonna drop some shrooms and talk about the weird shit we see,” said Wild. “I didn’t know these dudes thought this was like serious, you know? Bunch of wackos.”

While many have taken the findings to be somewhat of a joke, there are still many believers out there hungry for the truth behind the dome.