Obnoxious Hipster Films Entire Pygmalion Set On VHS Camcorder

author-pic at University of Illinois  

Snapchatting concerts on smartphones has been a nuisance to many music-lovers for the past few years. However, Pygmalion Festival-goers were introduced to an even more bothersome intrusion after one attendee filmed the entire Thundercat set with a VHS camcorder on Thursday night.

Gregor Haglin, a five-year veteran of the festival, was infuriated after finding himself directly behind the bulky video equipment.

“I’m always prepared for a wonky crowd at Pygmalion but this is a new low. Like, seriously, it’s not 1992, man,” fumed Haglin. “I don’t understand what ever happened to people just swaying around in the crowd, maybe passing a doobie or two around. This country has gone to shit.”

The perpetrator of this reprehensible behavior was identified to be Scotty Fowl, a freshman in the College of Fine and Applied Arts.

“I may not have even been alive when VHS was a thing but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to enjoy its beauty,” Fowl argued in his defense. “I spent damn near $600 on this vintage Panasonic camcorder after Googling what a VHS was, so I should be able to enjoy it as I please,” Fowl claimed. “You just can’t beat the video and audio quality on these babies; it really introduces a whole other layer to the concert experience.”

Officials in charge of Pygmalion Festival have addressed the issue by banning all outdated technologies including, but not limited to, VHS camcorders, Polaroid cameras, carrier pigeons, and the use of smoke signals.