UC Berkeley Mother Confused by Chemistry 1A Beaker
54-year-old, Janet Park, of Laguna Hills was flabbergasted at her son’s back to school equipment required by UC Berkeley this fall. She noted being particularly struck back by the size, shape, and smell of 18-year-old Henry Park’s Chemistry 1A Beaker.
“I mean, I was a Chemistry major at UC Riverside,” explains the Park family matriarch. “I just don’t remember my Chem 1A beakers being individually purchased, much less on a website called DankStop.com, but I guess times are changing?” questioned the lovely lady as she dropped her spawn off at the Clark Kerr housing.
“Mom, it’s totally fine. The downstem is like, really good for titration” remarked Henry as he applied a Bob Marley sticker to his brand new Illadelph, glass science device.
Most alarmingly, Henry’s mother seemed okay that although no official syllabi mentioned the “Illadelph beaker with bowl piece and downstem” as a required item, her son insisted on her buying it anyway. She was proud to have mothered such an overachiever.
“The only thing that seems odd is the fact Henry isn’t taking any actual science or mathematics classes. Chem 1A isn’t even on his schedule. He’s in Media Studies 10, I just don’t get it,” exclaimed Janet.
After an hour of searching every corner of the Clark Kerr Campus suite, Henry was found hiding in the toilet closet, smoke billowing from underneath the door.
“Mom, honestly, Chemistry just gets me so emotional,” stammered Henry through glassy, red eyes and with his beaker in hand (along with a Bic lighter). “I’m literally like, already starting experiments and shit.”
Henry continues his enthusiasm in the field of Chemistry, and Janet continues to be oblivious, as most mothers of UC Berkeley students should be.