Look What Tech Made Me Do: If Taylor Swift Went to VT

author-pic at Virginia Tech  

To celebrate feminist and country music icon Taylor Swift’s upcoming album, we at The Black Sheep decided to add some Virginia Tech flavor to her new hit “Look What You Made Me Do”:

 

*clears throat*
*takes shot*

 

I don’t like waiting in long lines
or being constantly sleep deprived
spending all my money downtown
in overpriced, crowded bars

I don’t like smiling all the time
Why, do you do make smile a lot of the time
I feel perpetually confused
like a kid who goes to JMU

 

Went to Schiffert,
came out thinking I was ’bout to die
Canvas isn’t working
got to turn in this thing by 5
maroon and orange aren’t suppose to go together
because the color circle
But that’s still half my closet

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech just fuckin made me do
Look at what Tech just fuckin made me do

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech just fuckin made me do
Look at what Tech just fuckin made me do

 

I’ve contemplated running over a person or five
They always take way too much time
Why did someone just stop in middle of the street?
Young lanyarded one, I don’t need to see your Pink Floyd shirt

 

Sometimes finding a parking spot takes me an hour
Other times its more like an hour and fifteen
And because I have a Kanye sized ego
This makes think someone has it out for me

 

I’m more convinced that I’m going crazy as the days go by
The football team hasn’t disappointed me yet
Why the heck they trying to waste my time?
Speaking of time wasted, I spent my entire weekend lying in my bed
But I didn’t get chlamydia, so I guess there’s that

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what this college of upper middle class NOVA kids just made me do
Look at what they made me do

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what all these Friends/Parks in Rec obsessed people made me do
Look at what they made me do

 

I don’t like the amount of money in my bank account
And I’m sure it doesn’t like me
I’ll buy something stupid
Because why not

 

I don’t like the amount of money in my bank account
And I’m sure it doesn’t like me
I probably should get a job
Never mind, I’m lazy

 

I don’t like the amount of money in my bank account
And I’m sure it doesn’t like me
At least it’s not at zero
I mean not yet anyways

 

“I’m sorry mom. The old me can’t come to the phone right now”
“Why?”
“Oh, because I’m at TOTS”

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Made me listen to a crappy pop song 15 times
That’s just what you made me do

 

Ooh
Look at what Tech made me do
Look at what Tech made me do
Made me listen to a crappy pop song 15 times
That’s just what you made me do

Yes Sands, we’re playing the victims again.