Top 6 Tips & Tricks to Not Dying at Houseboats 2k17
It’s Memorial Day weekend, which means it’s finally time for the greatest weekend of your young life: Houseboats. For those who don’t know, every year the Greek community, athletic community and many more booze-cruisin’ students take over Lake Shasta for three days of ridiculous partying on hundreds of houseboats. If you hate your liver more than the average college student, Houseboats is the perfect opportunity to bond over drunken shenanigans and hopefully not end up on the EMT boat. The Black Sheep has your complete guide for how to survive houseboats, from the experience of a trusted, albeit tipsy Houseboats veteran.
Safeboats is your lifesaver (literally):
If Safeboats didn’t exist then Houseboats wouldn’t exist either (since everyone would probably be dead). Safeboats is a boat funded solely by donations that has EMT services, Band-Aids, and everything else from condoms to granola bars. If it weren’t for Safeboats bandaging up every drunk-ass girl who trips over her own margaritas, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the glory that is Houseboats weekend. So while you’re running around the island, make sure you thank Safeboats for saving your ass.
The flashier the chug mug the better:
If you’ve never heard of the term “chug mug,” it’s pretty self-explanatory. The beautiful plastic bottle that stores copious amounts of liquor is an essential for Houseboats. Sorority girls absolutely love to decorate said chug mugs with all sorts of designs and “white girl wasted” slogans alike, and whoever has the best one definitely is the envy of the island. So make sure to pick one up from your local Walmart and get to decorating, because you’ll want the biggest and best container to store your beloved booze.
Fanny packs are suddenly high fashion:
Fanny packs are fashion and we’ll fight whoever says otherwise. Not only are fanny packs ideal for carrying all the essentials from snacks to joints, they leave your hands free to do whatever they need to (i.e. drink more). Plus, they come in so many different designs and colors, you can even have funny sayings on them and who doesn’t like fashion with funky flair. Ignore for one weekend your precious high fashion ideals, and buy a fanny pack. You won’t regret it.
Water shoes are more essential than ugly:
In memoriam of my water shoes that were lost to the bottom of the lake on Houseboats ’15, make sure to buy some water shoes and keep them on your feet at all times (even when too drunk to wear them). Again, fashion-forward thinkers need to stop worrying about looking weird on Houseboats, because honestly everyone is too drunk to care. Water shoes are a must for maneuvering the island and easily transitioning from land to lake water. They also come in many fun colors, and are actually more comfortable than Crocs (trust).
Steal the best inflatable possible:
Everyone will be bringing basic donut floats and flamingo inflatables to Houseboats, so in case you forget yours, remember that Houseboats is the ideal time for stealing. Yes it’s morally wrong, but more often than not it’s a complete drunk accident, so use this time to find yourself the best inflatable on the island. You’ll want to swoop a comfy inner tube for relaxing behind the boats, and giant inflatable pizza slices make for some great Instagram pictures later.
If you don’t leave with a tank top, did you even go?:
The signature style of Houseboats is the tank top, with almost every boat designing their own. This means that there will be dozens of tanks with funny phrases and clever designs floating around every corner, so make sure to pick one up if you don’t have one already. Another thing that’s easy to steal, especially when frat guys have to rip their shirts off in drunken macho-ness, so choose the best one you can find!
Remember to stay safe for Houseboats, drink lots of water, and enjoy everything that Lake Shasta has to offer.
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