9 of the Best Places at UF to Get Laid Based on Your Major
Whether you live in a cramped dorm on campus or in an apartment with paper-thin walls, finding a place to get laid is a mission. Luckily, UF contains tons of nooks and crannies that have been the perfect spots for bumpin’ uglies since the school opened. Find your major and your perfect escape for a little sexy time.
You know those completely useless stairs in the back corner of Weimer? The stairs that if you walk all the way up, the doors stay locked and you can’t actually access any floor? It’s totally frustrating when trying to get to class, but bring up a special friend and it’s the perfect place to relieve some of that frustration, if you know what we mean.
Add some extra heat to the greenhouses on campus with your lab partner. Convince them that a visit here is just as good as a tropical vacation. And if they question it further, just explain that you’re studying how plants react to human phero-moans.
7.) Art Major:
Unless you live with another art major (unlikely, only like five of you exist in the whole university) then your bed = the best spot for you since you probably don’t go to class anyway. Pro Tip: use all those empty Michael’s bags as extra padding on your mattress for optimal comfort.
You can be as loud as you want at the top of Century Tower. Grab your rehearsal partner and go as hard as the bells when they crank out “The Imperial March” on May 4.
5.) Art History:
In between trying to figure out the location of all the hidden vaginas in Georgia O’Keefe’s work and all the hidden dicks in Jackson Pollock’s, find a comfy cubicle in the Fine Arts Library on the top floor and whip out your own penis or vagina to have some fun with a friend. If you get caught, say you’re just practicing for a performance art piece.
4.) Sports Management:
Head over to the stadium in the early hours of the morning and get some intimate cardio in. Make sure to keep a look out for old people who actually work out and sorority girls who try to get the perfect picture of the sunset.
3.) Education Major:
Want something really steamy that also offers a great form of birth control? Head over to a storage closet at Baby Gators. All the little ones running around will definitely remind you to bring (and use!) protection—and the risk of getting kicked out of school adds to the fun!
The empty parking lots near the Levin College of Law mark the perfect spot for a car sex quickie. If someone catches you, just head over to the law library and read up on public nudity so you can properly defend yourself in court!
Jokes on you guys; no matter where you are, Marston or West, you’re constantly getting fucked by your major. The good news is you can use your tears from the stress of exams and school work as lube!
Regardless of where you do the deed, make sure to stay safe and have fun!
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