Shockingly SDT Greek Grind Features No Shortage of Glittery Tits

author-pic at University of Georgia  

The creme de la creme of Bourbon’s table dancers convened at UGA’s largest philanthropic event, SDT’s Greek Grind, last night at the Classic Center. As the Milledge bus assisted in this sororal migration, Greek gals and pals strutted into the venue wearing their best yoga pants, oversized KA formal t-shirts, and Birkenstocks to cheer on their talented, acrobatic sisters.

Members from all 19 sororities took the stage donning costumes, reportedly adhering to the theme “Launch the Grind,” however, our on scene reporters were too blinded by the excessive amounts of bodily glitter to confirm.

Greek grind participant, Katie Gamma stated, “I mean, I just simply can’t think of a better way to raise awareness for errrr…. umm…. the kids? This whole philanthropy thing is so posh, very Angelina Jolie, ya know?”

While Gamma and other members of her sorority are in the giving mood this philanthropy season, others are in it for the glitter, exclusively.

“I fucking love Bid Day, Big Little reveal, socials, gamedays… really any day that I get an excuse to roll around in glitter. However, Greek Grind is a plus because I also have an excuse to shake my Thetatas while drowning in a shit-ton glitter, way more than that wench Ke$ha will ever see in her lifetime,” said sophomore grinder and member of Theta Beta Zeta, Lauren Alpha.

Greek Grind is a phenomenon enjoyed by srat queen and frat king alike, but the brothers are viewing for reasons aside from the glitter and nobility of the cause.

“What the hell else happens on Wednesdays? People are either too hungover from Tuesday or already barred out for Thursday. I don’t see a better way to spend this lameass weekday than by watching the total 9 you hooked up with in the back of Hedges twerk her non-existent ass to the best of a cringe worthy mashup of early 2000s hip hop songs,” said Phi Delta Epsilon junior, Phil Future.

Whether inside the Greek circle of trust or outside, SDT’s Greek Grind is a holiday enjoyed by all, proven by statistics, reporting more viewing traffic than during the doritos commercial of the Super Bowl.