Top 5 Places on LSU’s Campus to Set Up Glory Holes
Although 2016 was a shit-show-and-a-half, we hope that Spring 2017 will go in a very different and less disastrous direction. Contrary to recent political decisions in our country, there is one good thing that has always been with us to brighten our days and will always be with us. Let us reflect on the ancient practice of glory holes. Through thick and thin, glory holes have always stayed by our sides to give us the boost of confidence needed to get to all of our classes. But where are our knights in shining armor? The Black Sheep is here to help find all of the best spots where glory holes should be set up around LSU.
5.) The Magnolia Room Bathroom:
The finest eating establishment on campus is sure to house only the wealthiest and richest of the freshmen desperate for a good romp in the toilet. This is by far the classiest and most likely cleanest place on campus to put a glory hole for all of your needs.
4.) 4th Floor of Middleton:
The smell of dusty ass books fills the air and the grad students are walking around as though we are in the fifth month of a zombie apocalypse. There’s no better way to brighten up their days and prevent them from jumping off the 4th floor than a nice round of penis-play.
3.) Allen Hall Bathroom:
What better environment to slurp the gherkin in than a bathroom with constantly open doors that looks like The Ritz-Carlton was attacked by Somalian pirates who really had to shit?
2.) Any Given Engineering Dorm Bathroom:
These people are some of the most desperate on the planet for human contact. After looking at numbers for so long, these poor souls get lonely, and sometimes a little freaky. A glory hole in the engineering dorm bathroom is an almost guaranteed success to fill more than just the hole in your heart.
1.) The Bathroom Next to Mike’s Habitat:
Sad souls still mourning the loss of our beloved tiger, Michael, need nothing more than a little glory hole action to serve as a pick-me-up to cope with the sadness. There is nothing more that Mike would want than for everyone to get their member managed.
Although a glory hole is a perfect decoration for any bathroom, or any room in general, these are the 5 best places in your immediate vicinity. May these places guide you on your way to success from the start of spring semester to completion. Have fun, Tigers.