UMN Valentine’s Day Would You Rather?
Are you confused this Valentine’s Day on what you actually REALLY want? Well, The Black Sheep covered the UMN campus this past weekend and played the UMN version of “Would You Rather?” with some really horny UMN students. Read and maybe YOUR love life questions will be answered… 😉
8.) Would you rather…
Go out on a date with an ex to Middlebrook freshman dining hall?
Or…Have your mom send you an endless supply of chocolate candies because she knows how alone and unloved you are?
Dillard Cosby: “Date with my ex to the freshman dining hall for sure. The all-you-can eat cereal could really set the steamy mood to rekindle that old flame. ;)”
7.) Would you rather…
Receive a mushy-gushy cute Valentine from your ideal significant other?
Or…Have the actual ghost of Hubert Humphrey haunt you from time to time?
Dan Chad: “Um… I’m in need of a good spook. So I’d definitely be down to have the actual ghost of a former VP of the United States haunt me every now and then.”
6.) Would you rather…
Attend the crappiest, most boring, and low-attended, yet overwhelmingly PDA-filled Valentine’s Day party?
Or…Host a Valentine’s Day frat party where only Mr. Bean shows up?
Tim McMurphy: “I have a fear of Mr. Bean, so definitely option A.”
5.) Would you rather…
Have to dot all of your “i”s and “j”s with hearts for the rest of your life?
Or…Have Mr. Bean never leave your freshman dorm and share a bed with him until the semester is finally over?
Tim McMurphy (again): “I’m having a panic attack right now with all of the Mr. Bean questions…”
4.) Would you rather…
Rip ass in front of someone you’re incredible attracted to and they clearly know you ripped major ass?
Or…Call your Biology of Sex professor “Daddy” in front of the whole lecture hall?
Allie Banks: “Wait… you don’t usually call your professor Daddy? Uh…”
3.) Would you rather…
Have a Valentine’s Day kiss with your biggest enemy?
Or…Kiss your FlexDine goodbye because you just spent your last cent within less than a month of the semester?
Anita Mann: “Um, FlexDine is LIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFE. So, not option b.”
2.) Would you rather…
Have someone tell you that you’re a golden gopher?
Or…Have someone tell you that you’re a piece of golden shit?
Marty IsDaRealest: “What about a golden gopher shit?”
1.) Would you rather…
Meet your future soulmate via Tinder?
Or…Meet your future soulmate via the UMN Buy/Sell Textbooks Facebook group?
Guy Fieri (but not the famous restaurateur): “Well, I met my spouse while selling my ECON 1001 book, so if you’re looking for romance, that’s the place to hunt.”
Well, there it is. UMN students should be able to solve all of their burning existential love life problems after taking this “would you rather” quiz. Now it’s your turn: what would you do in these situations?
What would YOUR parents say about Tinder?