5 Sexy Ohio State Halloween Costumes Mom Wouldn’t Approve Of
As if midterms weren’t spooky enough, Halloween is right around the corner and with Halloween comes costumes that show way too much skin. College girls are becoming desperate as they try to pick out the perfect Hall(hoe)ween costume, and they’re all looking for something with maximum levels of cleavage and minimum levels of actual clothing. Never to fear, The Black Sheep has a guide for everything, including sexy Ohio State Halloween costumes:
5.) Brutus (The Naked) Buckeye:
If you’re looking for a classic Ohio State-themed costume this year, look no further. Literally all you need is a Brutus head and a little towel with the Ohio State logo to cover your (not-so-good) goodies. It’s all about freeing the nipple, right? So no need to cover those. All you have to do is bribe one of the Brutuses (or Bruti?) out of their head and towel and show up butt-ass naked to all the bars. Honestly, the bouncers probably won’t even ask for your ID because they’re all frat boys at heart and you’re a girl.
4.) Sexy Traditions worker:
There are two dining halls and a shitty high school cafeteria on this campus, meaning that you should have no problem acquiring a Traditions t-shirt from one of your friends. In order to turn this boring tee into a jaw-dropping sex magnet, think game day block and Mean Girls. Use your shirt cutting skills to cut circles right where your ta tas are, and when it’s time to wear the costume, make sure there’s nothing underneath. This makes for easy access when you bring the guy who was grinding on you at Bull’s home.
3.) The Cheerleader:
Remember when you were a little girl, dreaming of being an Ohio State cheerleader? Dream no more, ladies. This year all you need are some pom-poms and a scarlet and gray cheer skirt, no spankies necessary. You can hold the pom-poms over your pom-poms all night (or don’t, no one’s judging) and show all those frat boys how a real woman cheers for her Buckeyes.
2.) Post-Date Party Sorority Girl:
A cosmic result of the combination of two of the high holidays in the srat world, Halloween and Date Party, this costume is low-risk, high-reward in our opinion. Put on a small little dress that leaves nothing to the imagination, get shit-faced in your room, and then go out! By the time you go out, the dress will be halfway falling off and you’ll already be drunk. Actually, you could probably ditch the dress and still get away with it because, well, college.
1.) Sexy Lion Man:
Yes, you read it right. Lion Man told us that his hair is totally a chick magnet and we think that imitating him could turn you into a dick magnet. All it involves is extreme teasing of the hair and the casual jeans and a tee. There’s no need to be naked for this one because the hair is sexy enough on it’s own.
No matter how nipply it is on Halloween night, we know that you hoes don’t get cold, so go all out this year no matter what the weather is.
Listen to our podcast!