Cathy’s Water Breaks: A New Building is Born

author-pic at University of Pittsburgh  

With people getting laid within any available room in her Hogwarts-esque halls, it was only a matter of time before the girl got knocked up herself. The glow Cathy had about her, even sans victory lights, seems to finally be explained. While most students simply thought it was a water main break, a beginning-of-the-school-year glimmer, it turns out Cathy’s water literally broke yesterday morning, and Pitt students can expect a baby Cathy to be joining us in the next few days. Thankfully, The Black Sheep was able to get a statement from the new mother herself.

“We’re just really happy,” said the Cathedral, the last dregs of water still trickling onto the sidewalk.  “The Pete and I have been together for quite some time now, and we’re just happy to finally be able to welcome another into our small family of decent looking campus buildings.” 

To many, it was no surprise to learn that The Pete was Cathy’s baby daddy.  The two are among the very few buildings on campus that don’t look like shit, so it was obvious they’d be the ones getting most of the action.  However, not all campus buildings seem to be on board with the idea of The Pete being the father.

“I saw her sharing blueprints with both Frick Fine Arts AND Towers.  Frick I can understand, but Towers?  I guess he’s just the only one that matches up to her size,” Heinz Chapel told us in an exclusive interview.  “No one would be surprised if that kiddo looks just like him.”

When confronted about Heinz’s accusations, Cathy vehemently denied any involvement with Towers.  “Really?  Can you imagine that?  Me, with that?”  Faint cries could be heard in the distance, and her voice significantly softened. “He’s just a really good friend.  I really just feel bad for the students.  I’m really sorry if I ruined your shoes and canceled your classes, I just couldn’t help it.  The pipe broke before I even knew what was happening.”

No one has yet been able to capture this new edition to the Pitt family yet, but eyewitness accounts confirm that they do seem to have inherited their mother’s victory lights.  Glimpses of the building child have been seen throughout Cathy’s windows, small, gothic, and yet suspiciously cylindrical.  

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