5 UVa Themed Party Ideas to Try This Fall

author-pic at University of Virginia  

Everybody’s dad likes to say “Spring has sprung,” but no one gives fall any love. There are no quips of “Fall has fallen” or “Autumn has autumned,” but yet basic bitches everywhere flock to Starbucks to find Pumpkin Spice Lattes flowing out of the baristas’ hands like hollow promises from people running for First Year President (like, what can you actually do, you’re a First Year?). At any rate, if you find yourself with the responsibility of throwing a UVa themed party at your apartment this season, we’ve got you covered:

5.) Drunken Dunkin’ party:
This one seems obvi, like totally. It’s a re-imagination of your worst Friday night out. You get to wear your most ratchet hair, your smeared makeup, and smell like you’ve been KO’d by tequila. Don’t worry; it’s all part of the aesthetic. You’ve heard of bobbing for apples. Well, your party will feature bobbing for donuts…in a vat of beer. Yum! Get turnt, get jelly-filled, and keep telling people that you don’t care because it’s your cheat day on your diet. Just when the night couldn’t seem to get any worse, you realize that there’s always room for one more munchkin.

4.) McIntire get-together:
This party is for the people that “have no time for parties.” The invitations will not have an RSVP card, but only because no one really expects anyone to show up. Business formal attire is mandatory and party games include throwing darts at $100 bills, wondering what you’re doing with your life. A special table will be set up for those who come to do their homework. Comm school t-shirts will be provided at the door as an incentive to come in the first place. And as you all know, ~Incentives affect behavior~

3.) Cav Daily party:
This is a great themed party! Invite people who will never fuckin’ shut up about the fact that they work at Cav Daily and then sit around a desk for a long time, looking at a TV monitor (seriously, what do they actually do?) Party games include missing deadlines and bizarre, politically polarizing opinion articles. Formal dress is suggested, but not mandatory. Just don’t show up naked and you should be fine. Drinks can be served on old copies of the Cav Daily. Also, be sure to include origami and newspaper hat making tables for those so inclined to actually do stuff. You can also get “I write for the Cav Daily” henna tattooed on your forehead, just in case anyone forgets you do. #yolo

2.) Granola party:
Fall brings out the adventurer and the quasi-jock in many people and nothing is more UVa than hiking Humpback for sunrise. Ah, think of the Instagram pictures you can have at your party #sunrise #Hoos #blessed. But no one actually wants to do all the work involved with hiking, so your party should appeal to the masses. Everyone gets to wear workout clothes and then watch an episode of How to Get Away With Murder so they’re all a little sweaty and their hearts are racing, but with the upside that no one stinks because they haven’t actually been hiking. Serve chunks of Cliff bars as hors d’oeuvres and make a green smoothie to serve in mini blender bottles.

1.) Football party:
BYOGOW (Bring your own gallon of water). Make sure that you stand a foot and a half above the rest of the others and always travel in packs like wolves. There will be stilt-making stations, so don’t worry if you’re vertically challenged and don’t get to that part of the costume before hand. Sweatpants and baggy UVa long-sleeve t-shirts are a must for party attire. You might want to hit the gym before hand, but there’s really no chance of putting on fifty pounds of muscle before Friday night, so just wear a bunch of layers. Pigs in a blanket are kind of football shaped, so you’ve already got some snacks done. You can decorate your apartment with the weights from Slaughter because TBH no one goes there to lift weights anyways, and it should be held on Wednesday night so it doesn’t conflict with practice or game days.

We bet you’re wondering why you’ve been consulting Pinterest for party ideas this whole time when you could have just been stealing our awesome ideas! Stay tuned for our Halloween edition of The Black Sheep where we tell you about all of the hottest costumes you can DIY at home this season.